IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

All cars that burn fossil fuels should be banned and electric cars should replace them. Do you agree or disagree?

#cars #fuels
In today's era, one major problem forces everyone to discuss that diesel and petrol-based
cars
 should prohibited, and battery
cars
 can be involved as alternatives. Environmental issues could be one of the reasons behind
this
 concept. It is agreed that
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 the statement is
also
 fairly correct from the view of environment. These
cars
 have potentially higher costs and fuel
cars
 are emitting more CO2 which harms the environment
Firstly
,
feul-based
Correct your spelling
fuel-based
feel-based
 four-wheels have a much higher cost as compared to electric vehicles.
In addition
, electricity-based motors have rechargeable batteries which
helps
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help
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 to settle within low costs. On top of that, electrifying automobiles are dominating on roads in terms of mileage,
similarly
, gasoline conveyance has lower runs on the miles.
For instance
, the Tesla Model X1 is an electric-powered vehicle that drives 4 kilometers per 1 dollar, meanwhile, a fossil
fuels-car
Correct your spelling
fuels car
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, Toyota requires 2 dollars per 8 kilometers.
Secondly
, gasoline-based motor vehicle harms the habitat by emitting Carbon dioxide. Many
cars
emits
Change the verb form
emit
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much
Fix the agreement mistake
apply
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toxic gases,
thus
it leads
Wrong verb form
leading
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 to global warming and
also
affects
Wrong verb form
affecting
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 the health of mankind.
Likewise
, it disturbs the environmental cycle which is not good for the future and human beings. To give a specific example,
In
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apply
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some cities which are densely polluted by carbon emissions have more health issues for the people and animals like dizziness, headache and in the topic of plants, there
is
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are
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 higher ratios for the loss of species of greenery. In the end, now we know the better way to improve the condition of the ecosystem. So, liquid-based carriers should be discontinued for
further
developments
Fix the agreement mistake
development
show examples
 and promote voltaic media to prevent the living world.
Submitted by rohanshingala7781 on

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task response
Ensure that your essay addresses all parts of the question thoroughly. While you discussed the environmental benefits and costs aspects of electric vehicles compared to fossil-fuel vehicles, elaborating on potential drawbacks or counterarguments could strengthen your discussion.
coherence and cohesion
Enhance coherence by using more cohesive devices to link sentences and paragraphs smoothly. This can help improve the flow of your essay.
coherence and cohesion
Provide clearer topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to explicitly state the main idea you will discuss. This can help guide the reader and improve the logical structure of your essay.
task response
You have addressed the prompt with a focused response, providing several reasons to support your stance on the issue.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay includes an introduction that sets the context and a conclusion that summarizes your main points.
coherence and cohesion
You have used specific examples to support your arguments, which strengthens your points.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • fossil fuels
  • emissions
  • air pollution
  • greenhouse gases
  • climate change
  • sustainable
  • renewable
  • electric vehicles
  • battery technology
  • charging infrastructure
  • range anxiety
  • government support
  • incentives
  • subsidies
  • renewable energy
  • environmental impact
  • energy efficiency
What to do next:
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