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Writing Samples /
Band 5

The bar chart below shows the sector contributions to India’s gross domestic product from 1960 to 2000. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

The bar chart below shows the sector contributions to India’s gross domestic product from 1960 to 2000. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.
#bar #sector #contributions #india’s #product #summarise #information #features #comparisons
The
given
Verb problem
apply
show examples
bar chart illustrates the sector
contributions
 to
India
's gross domestic product from 1960 to 2000,
it is clear that
 agriculture
contributions
 dropped dramatically from one decade to another.
According to
 the bar chart,
Services
contributions
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
India
's Gross Domestic Product have developed and increased gradually,
In addition
,
services
 in the years
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
1990 and 2000
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 the highest percentage of
contributions
than
Change preposition
of
show examples
 all other sectors.
Secondly
, Industry's contribution
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
 GDP improved but
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 a low rate from 1960 to 1980 and had a constant rate in the following decades.
To conclude
,
India
's GDP nowadays rely heavily on
services
 which could affect negatively in the long term,
for instance
, if
an
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
economic sanctions were forced on
India
services
will
Wrong verb form
would
show examples
 have no value.
Submitted by yazanalt523 on

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 80%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words contributions, india, services with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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