In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

#countries #world #people #cities #population #countryside #development

Today, in some countries

over

Change preposition

around

show examples

the globe, rural

people

are migrating to

cities

therefore

the population in the countryside is diminishing. In my opinion,

this

event contains a negative development because of decreasing the population in the countryside

as well as

increasing

Correct article usage

the increasing

show examples

number of

people

cities

. The first and foremost reason for holding to my view is that

people

settle in rural areas do not

heve

Correct your spelling

have

enough access to important complexes like

Add an article

a hospital

the hospital

show examples

hospital

Fix the agreement mistake

hospitals

show examples

Correct word choice

and medicine

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medicine

Replace the word

medical

show examples

centers

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centres

show examples

For instance

, individuals

reside

Wrong verb form

residing

show examples

cities

have

easily

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easy

show examples

access to innovations

such

as precision medicine, which tailors

treatmet

Correct your spelling

treatment

treatments

to individual genetic profiles, and regenerative medicine, which employs stem cell technology to repair damaged tissues, epitomize

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

cutting-edge progress.

Furethermore

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Furthermore

, the integration of artificial intelligence in diagnostics and robotic surgery has revolutionized patient care, ensuring unprecedented accuracy and efficiency.

Therefore

, these developments could

encorage

Correct your spelling

encourage

people

in order to live in

cities

. Another reason

Correct pronoun usage

that is

show examples

interesting to note is that

people

face

pollution

and decreasing

energy

sources in rural parts because of not using renewable power.

For example

, renewable

energy

souces

Correct your spelling

sources

show examples

could play a vital role in reducing

pollution

and promoting sustainable growth. advances in solar, wind,

hydroelectric

Correct word choice

and hydroelectric

show examples

power have decreased reliance on fossil fuels, thereby diminishing

greenhous

Correct your spelling

greenhouse

gas emissions and air

pollution

. innovations

such

as better

energy

storage and smart grid technology have made renewable power more efficient and

depandable

Correct your spelling

dependable

. These developments not only protect the environment but

also

boost the economy by creating new jobs in the green sector. In conclusion, I think the emigration to

cities

is a negative growth because of increasing

pollution

and not using renewable

energy

souces

Correct your spelling

sources

show examples

in rural areas. Given

this

situation, it is recommended governments should

plane

Correct your spelling

plan

show examples

for both problems mentioned above.

Submitted by hs.abdolhay70 on Sat Jun 22 2024

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grammar

Improve grammatical accuracy by addressing minor errors in verb forms, plurals, and articles.

vocabulary

Work on enhancing vocabulary to further articulate ideas and provide more specific examples.

structure

Strengthen coherence by ensuring each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and concluding sentence.

structure

Clear introduction and conclusion that frame the essay well.

evidence

Good usage of relevant examples to support main points, like the mention of precision medicine and renewable energy sources.

content

Demonstrates a good understanding of complex issues related to urbanization and its impacts.

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
21Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

284 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

rural-to-urban migration
population shift
positive impact
negative impact
urbanization
job opportunities
access to education
access to healthcare
urban infrastructure
rural traditions
cultural heritage

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In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

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