Some people are of the opinion that children should be rewarded for good behaviour. Others think they should be punished for bad behavior. Discuss both views and give your personal opinion and reasons.

#people #children #behaviour #behavior

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Some people believe that

children

need a ward for right behaviour

whereas

,others people assume that individuals ought to be

punishment

Replace the word

punished

show examples

for wrong

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

. In

this

essay

Add a comma

essay,

show examples

I will elaborate

both

Change preposition

on both

show examples

perspectives and my opinion. On one hand,one

believe

Change the verb form

believes

show examples

that ,giving

Correct the article-noun agreement

children

a child

show examples

children

a ward for

good

Change the article

a good

show examples

job

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

is considered a positive side for them. In

other word

Change the wording

another word

other words

show examples

, when parents provide them motivation either a kind word or

gift

Correct article usage

a gift

show examples

Inaddition

Correct your spelling

In addition

couraging

Verb problem

encouraging

show examples

children

assist

Correct subject-verb agreement

assists

show examples

them to

cheive

Correct your spelling

achieve

their goals to reach to top. For

Correct your spelling

instance

instanc

Correct your spelling

instance

, when

children

obtain full

mark

Fix the agreement mistake

marks

show examples

their parents reward

Furthermore

Submitted by almeem on Sat Jun 22 2024

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coherence cohesion

You need to develop a logical structure in your essay. Currently, the points are not well-organized, and the ideas jump around without clear transitions. Try to use paragraphs effectively to separate different points or perspectives.

coherence cohesion

The essay lacks a clear and present introduction and conclusion. You should clearly state the main idea of your essay in the introduction and summarize the key points in the conclusion.

supported main points

Ensure your main points are fully supported with relevant examples and explanations. The examples you use should clearly illustrate your point.

task achievement

Work on achieving a complete response to the task. Both perspectives (rewarding good behavior and punishing bad behavior) should be equally elaborated, with clear connections between them and your opinion.

clear comprehensive ideas

Try to express your ideas clearly and comprehensively. Some parts of the essay are difficult to understand due to unclear language.

relevant specific examples

Include more relevant and specific examples. They help support your points and make your arguments stronger.

task achievement

Your essay addresses the task by discussing both perspectives: rewarding good behavior and punishing bad behavior.

supported main points

Your use of motivation and encouragement as examples to support the points on rewarding behavior is commendable.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

3
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

2 paragraphs

93 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Positive reinforcement
Behavioral motivation
Praise
Extrinsic motivation
Internal discipline
Consequences
Time-outs
Removal of privileges
Logical consequences
Psychological effects
Child-parent relationship
Negative reinforcement
Consistency
Fairness

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Some people are of the opinion that children should be rewarded for good behaviour. Others think they should be punished for bad behavior. Discuss both views and give your personal opinion and reasons.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

In many countries, traditional dress and costumes are considered effective ways of maintaining links with the past. How effective can traditional costumes be, in this sense? What other ways exist to help citizens connect with a country’s past?

In many countries, women and men are working full-time. It is therefore, logical for women and men to share household chores. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give relevant examples.

Financial education should be included as a mandatory subject in schools to prepare students for managing money effectively. To what extent do you agree or disagree

Write a letter to your favourite restaurant. Include the following: · Your reason for writing · What you like about the restaurant · Suggestions for improvement

Developments in technology have brought various environmental problems. Some people believe that people need to live simpler lives to solve environmental problems. Other, however, technology is the way to solve these problems. Discuss both views