IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that activities during the free time should be planned while others disagree. Discuss both sides and include examples and relevant data from your own experience.

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Human
activities
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 have changed continuously throughout history.Even spending free
time
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 which is one of the primary human rights is among the many
activities
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 that now do in varied ways.The argument that spending free
time
Use synonyms
 without having a
plan
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 for it or not is an argument
that is
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 both agreed upon and disagreed with by many. The two sides of
this
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 argument will be fully analysed and discussed in
this
Linking Words
 essay before drawing a reasoned conclusion.
Firstly
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,the advancement rate at which planned free
time
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 of spending it in fun and happy conditions is quite remarkable.
For instance
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, having a
plan
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 for going to a theme park and preparing picnic items carefully decreases stress and increases the happiness of it.
Thus
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 the prospect of being ready for free
time
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 used to be chosen by many and it is considerable.
This
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 is why it can be argued that free
time
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 must be totally planned in advance.
Nevertheless
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, others surely say that free
time
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 must be free of any roles because they want to do their
activities
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 in
Correct pronoun usage
their free
show examples
free
Correct pronoun usage
their free
show examples
time
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 spontaneously. By way of an example, they may want to change their way in the middle of roads of a beach
due to
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 hearing the news about opening a new theme park on
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
 side of the city on the radio.
Therefore
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, they claim that having a fixed
plan
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 for their free
time
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 may make them disappointed.
Thus
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, these reasons persuade these people to avoid planning for their vacation or any other free
time
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. In conclusion, choosing to have a
plan
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 or be spontaneous on vacation is argued above from two against views of people.After a thorough analysis of these objective views, it is hard to be completely behind one of them .
Therefore
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, because of having good reasons and advantages of each of them we can choose a middle opinion that has an alternative
plan
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asidefrom
Correct your spelling
aside from
 a main
plan
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 and do our
activities
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 freely to have the best free
time
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.

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Introduction
Your introduction gives a general overview of the topic, but it could be more concise. Try to directly address the question without repeating it to improve clarity.
Clear Ideas
The ideas presented are relevant, but they could be more clearly and comprehensively explained. Focus on expanding your main points with more specific examples and elaborations.
Examples and Data
Work on providing specific examples and relevant data to support your points. This will strengthen your arguments and make them more convincing.
Grammar and Word Choice
There are some grammatical inaccuracies and awkward word choices. Review your essay for grammatical correctness and consider revising sentences for clarity.
Balanced View
You have clearly stated both sides of the argument, showing a balanced view which is crucial for this type of essay.
Conclusion
Your conclusion effectively addresses both sides of the argument and suggests a middle-ground solution. This demonstrates critical thinking.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • free time
  • planned activities
  • unplanned activities
  • time management
  • spontaneous enjoyment
  • efficiency
  • balance
  • flexibility
  • anecdotal evidence
  • scheduling
  • unstructured
  • unexpected joy
  • stress relief
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