In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this .
The young people of some countries, would sooner
looking
for a job or take a vacation between graduating high school and enrolling Change the verb form
look
be looking
Use synonyms
university
. One of the main benefits of Change preposition
on university
this
decision is that the students will be able to make their minds free, Linking Words
moreover
, the principal drawback is tending to quit Linking Words
university
. the details of both pros and cons will be explained in the following paragraphs.
Use synonyms
Firstly
, in every career, after many years of Linking Words
hardworking
, a little bit Correct word choice
hard work
rest
and spending time in a more fascinating way is the right of every person. Change preposition
of rest
As a consequence
, the pupils have the right to take a rest and get away from it all. Linking Words
for
Linking Words
example
Add a comma
example,
by go
on a vacation or hanging out with Change preposition
going
the
friends just after high school Correct article usage
apply
graduating
Verb problem
apply
seem
so vital to make the mind free and prepare it for Correct subject-verb agreement
seems
future
Correct article usage
the future
hardworking
.
Correct word choice
apply
Secondly
, Linking Words
on the other hand
, by knowing the nature of humankind, every person would rather live in comfort, so after a long gap between high school and Linking Words
university
, Use synonyms
the
students tend to quit going to Correct article usage
apply
a
Correct article usage
apply
university
and they just want to relax, Use synonyms
hanging
out with their friends and so many works which may ruin their future. Wrong verb form
hang
According to
the TIMES newspaper, about 32 Linking Words
percent
of young people have an addiction to cigarettes, Change the spelling
per cent
also
Linking Words
this
expedition shows the reason why young individuals tend to do Linking Words
such
things, is that they have Linking Words
a lots
of free time.
In conclusion, Correct the article-noun agreement
a lot
lots
this
method which is happening in some countries, Linking Words
have
many advantages and disadvantages. the Correct subject-verb agreement
has
tempt
to quit Replace the word
temptation
university
is one of the drawbacks which can lead to some serious problems.Use synonyms
Submitted by pouya_mokhtarpour on
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coherence cohesion
To improve organization and clarity, structure your essay with clearer paragraphs. Each point should start with a topic sentence followed by supporting sentences. This will help the reader follow your argument more easily.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that your introduction clearly states the topic and your stance or the purpose of the essay. This helps set the context for the reader.
task achievement
Although you have provided examples, they could be more specific and detailed to fully support your points. Try to include more concrete evidence or real-life examples.
task achievement
Work on your grammar and sentence structure to make your ideas clearer. For instance, avoid run-on sentences and ensure proper use of transitional phrases to link your ideas smoothly.
task achievement
You have addressed both the advantages and disadvantages of taking a gap year, which shows a balanced view on the topic.
task achievement
Your essay demonstrates a good attempt to discuss complex ideas, which is commendable.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.