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Band 5.5

The two maps below show road access to a city hospital in 2007 and in 2010. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The two maps below show road access to a city hospital in 2007 and in 2010. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
#two #maps #show #road #access #city #information #features #comparisons
Observing
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
two maps which were separated
timeline
Fix the agreement mistake
timelines
show examples
 2007 and 2010 ,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
gave us some
informations
Change the wording
information
pieces of information
show examples
how
Change preposition
on how
show examples
 we could approach
to
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
the
city
 hospital
by
Change preposition
through
show examples
 many overland route In 2007 the
infrastructure
 of the hospital space was quite fundamental , first and foremost ,the
city
 hospital was located in the
center
Change the spelling
centre
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 and surrounded by a ring
road
,
furthermore
Add a comma
furthermore,
show examples
 the ring
road
 was
also
 associated with a car park on the east of
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 Hospital
road
 which included hospital employees and residents.
In addition
 , the
city
 hospital
also
 had
bus
infrastructure
 which
were
Change the verb form
was
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 positioned on three
bus
 stops on each side of the hospital
road
.
Move
Wrong verb form
Moving
show examples
 to 2010 we could realize the innovation of the hospital
infrastructure
for instance
bus
infrastructure
 , intersection development and parking facility.
Initially
,the
bus
 tops still stayed at
same
Add an article
the same
show examples
 location but it was displaced by
an
Remove the article
apply
show examples
advent of
bus
Add an article
the bus
show examples
 station
as well as
 the car park extent from one to two distinctively which once was for hospital members located at the same address and the other for citizens
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
was
Verb problem
apply
show examples
placed on the east of
city
 hospital.
Additionally
, the traffic route was
changing
Wrong verb form
changed
show examples
 when it developed and expanded more
route
Fix the agreement mistake
routes
show examples
 by adding more two
roundabout
Change to a plural noun
roundabouts
show examples
 in place on the peak and the bottom of the hospital
road
.
Overall
 ,in both
year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
show examples
 it had
an
Change the article
a
show examples
 significant advance when the
City
 hospital
infrastructure
 was upgrading their systematic traffic though some headquarters
still
Add a missing verb
were still
show examples
 in one place
such
 as the
city
 hospital , the ring
road
 and the
city
road
Submitted by ngovhngoc on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
▼
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words city, infrastructure, road, bus with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • infrastructure
  • improvements
  • facilitate
  • congestion
  • junctions
  • streamline
  • traffic flow
  • reduce congestion
  • public transport
  • bus station
  • efficiency
  • accessibility
  • parking facilities
  • car park
  • designated
  • alleviate
  • issues
  • adequate space
  • enhancements
  • overall accessibility
  • traffic management
  • convenience
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