In the modern era, it is easy to sell, buy and work with others through the internet. But others are against it. Do you think this is a positive trend or a negative trend?

With an ever-increasing concern about how to handle
Correct article usage
the double-sideness
show examples
double-sideness
Correct your spelling
double-sidedness
double-sides
of
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
, some individuals argue that
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
will bring positive outcomes in society for some reasons.
This
essay will,
however
, provide some reasons why I firmly believe that it will not be beneficial for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society.
To begin
with, the advocates of using
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
argue that
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
is convenient for shopping and
work
Wrong verb form
working
show examples
with others. From the perspective of consumers, they have been struggling with limited time
go
Fix the infinitive
to go
show examples
shopping but
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
allows them to access with no time and place limitation, which results in improving
thier
Correct your spelling
their
quality
of
life-standards
Correct your spelling
life standards
show examples
.
Therefore
, those consumers can
be
Verb problem
apply
show examples
actually
benefited
Wrong verb form
benefit
show examples
from the activated implementation of using
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
.
Moreover
, compared to some nations with
ovetly
Correct your spelling
overtly
using
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
, other nations without
this
utilization have
showed
Change the verb form
shown
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
increased individuals' satisfaction on their
quality
of life-standards. In spite of
those
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
reasons mentioned above, I strongly contend that
this
trend will
untimately
Correct your spelling
ultimately
deteriorate the entire society in
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
long-term
Correct your spelling
long term
show examples
. Providing a few agreements on previous
argumets
Correct your spelling
arguments
, other oppositions can illuminate a different perspective. The
most
Correct word choice
highest
show examples
priority of online business owners is to maximize
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
profit and
it
Correct pronoun usage
this
show examples
often causes
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
exaggerated advertisements on their products. Consumers
are easily get
Change the verb form
easily get
show examples
into
situation
Fix the agreement mistake
situations
show examples
where they pay prohibited
price
Fix the agreement mistake
prices
show examples
for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
products with poor
quality
.
Moreover
, online platforms are suffering from
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
lack of security which results in personal information leakage of customers and
this
consequently
demonstrates that companies have higher chances of having financial damages. In conclusion, some individuals argue that the usage of
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
will bring positive outcomes in some ways.
Nevertheless
, I firmly believe that more considerations of other parties' facing issues should be taken into account to achieve more sustainable advantages.
Moreover
, there must be other factors to be weighed in appreciating the actual causal relationship between
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
easy access to
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
and the
quality
of
life-standards
Correct your spelling
life standards
show examples
.
Submitted by rachael0124 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Ensure that your arguments are clearly defined and elaborated. This will help to strengthen your position and make your essay more persuasive.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to grammatical accuracy and avoid small typographical errors, such as 'thier' instead of 'their', 'ovetly' instead of 'overtly'.
task achievement
Incorporate more specific examples and evidence to support your main points. This will add depth to your arguments and make them more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical flow of your essay by ensuring that each paragraph transitions smoothly into the next. This will help to maintain reader engagement and clarify your overall argument.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps to frame your argument effectively.
task achievement
You address both sides of the argument, demonstrating a balanced approach to the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: