In some countries, the government pays for health care. In others, the individual must pay for their own health care. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of each system
Health
care
is so important now a days
as diseases and Correct the word
nowadays
health
problems increases
.
Change the verb form
increase
Government
of a few countries provide free Fix the agreement mistake
Governments
health
care
whereas
some asks
Change the verb form
ask
the
Correct article usage
apply
indviduals
to pay for it. As far as Correct your spelling
individuals
individual
i'm
concerned , the Change the capitalization
I'm
government
should pay for the
Correct article usage
apply
health
care
.
Firstly
, in developing countries
most Add a comma
countries,
of
Change preposition
apply
the
people cannot pay Correct article usage
apply
their
basic Change preposition
for their
health
need
which is the reason the Fix the agreement mistake
needs
government
should provide free for them. Secondly
, all masses pay taxes to the governments,so primary-level medical should be given to all citizens without any objrction
. Correct your spelling
obstruction
For
example
the Add a comma
example,
health
care
of kerala
introduced a scheme for the Change the capitalization
Kerala
poors
and provided them free medicines and basic Correct your spelling
poor
treatmemts
without any charge.
Correct your spelling
treatments
treatment
On the other hand
, advanced medical and crucial treatments are very expensive . If the government
pays the medical costs of indviduals
, Correct your spelling
individuals
then
there will be crisis
in the economy. The Add an article
a crisis
government
should not pay for the ones who earn above 50,00,000 annually.
In conclusion , free medical should be done for everyone but the advanced ones should be free only for the Correct your spelling
poor
poors
Correct your spelling
poor
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coherence cohesion
Ensure your essay includes a clear introduction and conclusion. Your current introduction is a bit brief and lacks a strong thesis statement. Try starting with a general comment on healthcare and then narrow it down to the government vs. individual payment systems.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and make your argument stronger, use clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph. For example, you could start a paragraph by saying, 'One major advantage of government-funded healthcare is that it ensures access for all citizens, regardless of their financial situation.'
task achievement
Avoid using informal language such as 'i'm'. Instead, use 'I am' or 'I believe'. Additionally, check for minor grammatical mistakes and spelling errors to enhance clarity and professionalism.
task achievement
Offer more concrete examples to support your points. For instance, you mentioned Kerala's health scheme for the poor, but it would be beneficial to add more details about its impact and success rates.
task achievement
The essay addresses both systems (government-funded and individual payment) and presents arguments for and against each one.
task achievement
You provided a relevant example of the Kerala health scheme which helps to support your point.
coherence cohesion
The structure of the essay is easy to follow with distinct paragraphs discussing different aspects of the topic.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.