IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

The plans below show a harbour in 2000 and how it looks today.Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features,andmake comparisons where relevant.

#plans #show #harbour #summarise #information #features #andmake #comparisons
The two maps depict the transformation of a coastal
harbor's
Change the spelling
harbour's
show examples
 arrangement from the year 2000 to the present.
Overall
, it is evident that there was an
overall
 improvement in the availability of showers, toilet facilities, and docks, resulting in the transformation of the abandoned castle into a hotel. An important modification is the construction of extra showers and toilets on the south-western side of Porth Harbour.
Furthermore
, an additional berth for passenger ferries has been appended to the existing one.
Furthermore
, the current whereabouts of the lifeboat encompass several cafes and shops. A notable advancement is the establishment of a hotel in the
south-eastern
Correct your spelling
southeastern
show examples
 region, which has taken the position of the abandoned castle. The hotel has transformed the former public beach into a secluded beach solely designated for its own utilisation. Curiously, the positions of fishing boats and private yachts have been exchanged. Notwithstanding the aforementioned alterations, the two car parks on the western side have remained unchanged.
Submitted by 842623369 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Your essay accurately describes the changes in the harbor and includes relevant comparisons. However, it would benefit from a brief conclusion that summarises the main changes.
coherence cohesion
The essay is generally clear and logically structured. However, linking words and phrases such as 'In addition' or 'Moreover' would help to improve the flow between paragraphs and ideas.
task achievement
You have done a commendable job in describing the changes comprehensively and in a structured manner.
coherence cohesion
The use of descriptive language and specific details to compare the maps is effective and enhances understanding.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!