Innovation is often driven by the pursuit of profit and economic growth. However, some argue that innovation should be targeted towards addressing social and environmental issues. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

With an ever-increasing concern about how to utilize the purpose of
innovation
, some individuals have opined that the purpose of
innovation
is to be beneficial for economic
growth
and create
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
profit
. The rest of the population,
however
, raised a counterargument that addressing social and environmental
issues
should be the main reason for
innovation
.
This
essay will,
therefore
, evaluate both sides and present a concluding viewpoint.
To begin
with, some individuals argue that increasing
profit
and economic
growth
can be made through
innovation
. From the perspective of corporations, they have been struggling
from
Change preposition
with
show examples
outdated operating systems and infrastructures, which has resulted in declining rates in business performance.
Moreover
, the process of bringing
innovation
requires
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
great number of financial provisions and it sometimes becomes a burden on corporations to come up with.
Therefore
, those corporations can
be
Verb problem
apply
show examples
actually
benefited
Wrong verb form
benefit
show examples
from the activated policy of pursuit of
innovation
to be focused on creating more
profit
and economic
growth
.
Furthermore
, compared to some nations with an activated policy with
innovation
, other nations without
this
policy have shown no greater change in national economic
growth
. In spite of those reasons mentioned above, other oppositions contend that innovations should be addressed for social and environmental
issues
. Providing a few agreements on previous arguments, moving to children can illuminate a different perspective. Their
most
Correct word choice
highest
show examples
priority is learning social norms and values from society and
this
consequently
demonstrates that following the newest trend in society. For children, they should learn about notable values
such
as consideration of social and environmental
issues
that need to be addressed rather than prioritizing the importance of financial impact.
Thus
, making decisions about pursuing
innovation
should not be based on the sole representative side of the corporation.
Moreover
, there must be other factors to be weighed in appreciating the actual causal relationship between
innovation
and economic
growth
. In conclusion, some individuals think that
innovation
should be addressed for
profit
and economic
growth
for some reasons.
Nevertheless
, I strongly believe that more considerations of other parties’ facing
issues
should be taken into account to achieve more sustainable advantages.
Submitted by rachael0124 on

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task achievement
Try to include even more relevant specific examples and evidence to support your points. This will make your argument more compelling and grounded in reality.
coherence cohesion
Some sentences are a bit complex and may cause confusion. Simplifying sentence structures can improve readability and coherence.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear, singular focus. Sometimes the arguments are scattered, making it hard to follow the main point.
introduction
Your essay introduces the topic well and clearly outlines the opposing viewpoints. This is an excellent way to provide a balanced discussion.
conclusion
You effectively provide a conclusion that summarizes your discussion and clearly states your opinion, which adds to the cohesion of your essay.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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