IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The diagram below shows the process of producing yogurt in a factory. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

The diagram below shows the process of producing yogurt in a factory. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.
#process #yogurt #factory #information #features #comparisons
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The diagram illustrates how to make
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
yoghurt
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
factory
Correct article usage
a factory
show examples
 scale.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that there are seven steps to make it
yoghurt
Use synonyms
 using raw material like
milk
Use synonyms
, and live bacteria. In detail,
the first step
Linking Words
is pour
Change the verb form
is to pour
show examples
 the
milk
Use synonyms
 into the pan and boil at 90 degrees
celsius
Capitalize word
Celsius
show examples
 for 30 minutes
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
do not forget to stir it. after that, make the
milk
Use synonyms
become
Verb problem
apply
show examples
cool
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
temperature
Correct article usage
a temperature
show examples
around
Change preposition
of around
show examples
 44 degrees
celsius
Capitalize word
Celsius
show examples
.
In addition
Linking Words
, put the live bacteria into the cool
milk
Use synonyms
 and make it cool
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
temperature
Correct article usage
a temperature
show examples
around
Change preposition
of around
show examples
 37 degrees
celsius
Capitalize word
Celsius
show examples
 for 4 hours. The next step, after waiting for four hours,
the next step is
Linking Words
put
Fix the infinitive
to put
show examples
 the
yoghurt
Use synonyms
 into the refrigerator, and
then
Linking Words
 add some sugar
into
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the
yoghurt
Use synonyms
 to make the
yoghurt
Use synonyms
 more sweet, and do not forget to stir it. after
put
Change the verb form
putting
show examples
 the sugar into the
yoghurt
Use synonyms
, pour the
yoghurt
Use synonyms
 into the small glasses, after that, if all the glasses
full
Add a missing verb
are full
show examples
with
Change preposition
of
show examples
yoghurt
Use synonyms
, the
yoghurt
Use synonyms
ready
Add a missing verb
is ready
show examples
 to
distributed
Add a missing verb
be distributed
show examples
into
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the store.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
▼
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words yoghurt, milk with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • pasteurization
  • fermentation
  • bacterial cultures
  • incubation
  • optimal temperature
  • thickens
  • distinctive texture
  • cooled
  • additional ingredients
  • packaged
  • sealed
  • distribution
What to do next:
Look at other essays: