Some people prefer to watch foreign films rather than locally produce films. Why is this? Do you think the government should spend more money supporting the local film industry?
Cinematography is an integral part of
culture
of almost every nation in the modern society. Add an article
the culture
a culture
That is
why the movie
industry
got
a significant Verb problem
has
development
in many states throughout the last
decades. Hence
, nowadays almost each
country can produce its own films. Change the determiner
every
However
, in many cases
locals choose to watch the Add a comma
cases,
movies
produced abroad rather than those that were made in their own country. In this
essay the reason of
Change preposition
for
this
tendency together with
the opinion whether
it is necessary for the authorities to give donations to the domestic Change preposition
on whether
film
industry
or not are going to be expressed.
The main reason lying
behind the fact that Verb problem
apply
the
foreign Correct article usage
apply
movies
are mostly more popular is that they are considered to be better produced, montaged, and written. Moreover
, the way and level of acting is
Unnecessary verb
apply
also
seemed to be better. For example
, the
Hollywood films are known worldwide and recognized as the best Correct article usage
apply
among
the whole Change preposition
in
film
industry
due to
the fact that they usually win different international awards as Oscar
or Fix the agreement mistake
Oscars
Emmy
. In the year Fix the agreement mistake
Emmys
of
Change preposition
apply
2023
the Hollywood Add a comma
2023,
movie
Everything Everywhere at Once was chosen as the best one according to
the Movie
Academy Award following the success of this
picture another Hollywood produced
Add a hyphen
Hollywood-produced
film
Oppenheimer was selected as the best one in the next year. Therefore
, the recognition from famous and prestigious awards can make people to
prefer watching foreign Change the verb form
apply
movies
rather than the local ones.
Speaking about the developing
of the local Replace the word
development
film
industry
, the government should support and provide all the means and resources for its development
as it can not only help to express national and cultural ideas among the population but also
it can boost the
economic growth in the cultural sphere. South Korea, Correct article usage
apply
for instance
, began to focus on the
cultural Correct article usage
apply
export
in the 1990s, which has resulted in the rapidly growing popularity of Fix the agreement mistake
exports
so-called
Korean Wave. Correct article usage
the so-called
This
phenomenon has influenced on
the Change preposition
apply
supporting
of the local entertainment companies and Replace the word
support
on
the Change preposition
apply
development
of movie
production as well. As a result
, the South Korean movies
has
become quite famous abroad. Change the verb form
have
Moreover
, the South Korean movie
Parasites even got the
Oscar award recently. Correct article usage
an
Consequently
, it has resulted in the growing movie
export that is
bringing a lot of money to the
Korea Correct article usage
apply
as well as
attracting many tourists to this
country yearly. So, the development
of domestic entertainment industries can improve the local economy as well as
share its national ideas, values and traditions.
In conclusion, it is important to mention that even though almost any modern state create
Correct subject-verb agreement
creates
movies
today the
local films usually do not have Correct article usage
apply
an
extremely success among locals as Correct your spelling
as
the
foreign onesCorrect article usage
apply
.
One of the reasons is that they are not so recognized by critics worldwide. But if the state contributes Add a missing verb
do.
into
the Change preposition
to
development
of its own movie
creation industry
it may lead to its raise
even in other countries and bring fruitful economic outcomes.Correct your spelling
rise
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coherence cohesion
To further improve coherence, instead of using 'hence' and 'however' in close succession in the introduction, consider using different transition words for variation (e.g., 'Consequently' or 'Nevertheless').
coherence cohesion
The sentence structures could be slightly varied to enhance readability. For example, instead of 'The main reason lying behind the fact that the foreign movies are mostly more popular is that...', try 'One primary reason foreign movies are more popular is that...'.
coherence cohesion
While the essay has supported arguments with relevant examples, aim for a smoother flow by connecting ideas within paragraphs seamlessly. This can be achieved by using linking words and phrases more effectively (e.g., 'Due to this...' or 'As a consequence...').
task achievement
While the essay effectively answers the prompt and uses specific examples (e.g., Hollywood films, South Korean cinema), further elaboration on how government support can improve local films' competitive edge would strengthen the argument.
task achievement
Clarify certain sentences to avoid ambiguity. For instance, instead of 'This phenomenon has influenced on the supporting of the local entertainment companies and on the development of movie production as well,' which is somewhat convoluted, try 'This phenomenon has influenced support for local entertainment companies and the growth of movie production.'
task achievement
The essay presents a comprehensive response to the task, addressing why foreign films are preferred and the potential benefits of government support for the local film industry.
task achievement
Strong and relevant examples are used throughout the essay to support the arguments, such as mentioning Hollywood films and South Korea's cultural export.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a well-organized structure with a clear introduction, body paragraphs that are logically developed, and a succinct conclusion.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and reinforces the argument made in the essay.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?