IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Many people prefer to live in their own house, while others are prepared to live in rental properties. Discuss both views, give your own opinion and examples.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
A number of
people
Use synonyms
 have
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
different
opinion
Fix the agreement mistake
opinions
show examples
 regarding the best
resident
Replace the word
residence
show examples
 to live
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
, some groups believe that
private
Correct article usage
a private
show examples
house
Use synonyms
 can be the best option and, others consider residing in rental
propererties
Correct your spelling
properties
. In my opinion, there
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 potential
benefit
Fix the agreement mistake
benefits
show examples
 from both
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
model
Fix the agreement mistake
models
show examples
, and I will elaborate
Linking Words
this
Change preposition
on this
show examples
 phenomenon
through
Change preposition
in
show examples
this
Linking Words
 essay. The rental
house
Use synonyms
 can be
proper
Add an article
the proper
a proper
show examples
 solution for the community with massive consideration regarding cost budget and still in the
prosses
Fix the agreement mistake
process
show examples
to establish
Change preposition
of establishing
show examples
 their career as worker and have necessary to minimize the budget,
due to
Linking Words
 the fact, that
people
Use synonyms
 just
begin
Wrong verb form
begun
show examples
 their professional working space have limitation in the revenue aspect.
For instance
Linking Words
, young generations nowadays with unsteady
occupation
Fix the agreement mistake
occupations
show examples
 refers to rent
apartment
Fix the agreement mistake
apartments
show examples
 with certain
bill
Fix the agreement mistake
bills
show examples
 since it is more generous than
purchase
Wrong verb form
purchasing
show examples
 a
house
Use synonyms
 with credit
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 since they just passed their school season and need to grow their professional record in working life,
therefore
Linking Words
 rental residence can be
good
Add an article
a good
show examples
 assistance in financial sector, in order to it is crucial for them to optimize their expenditure and manage their income properly.
In
Change preposition
At
show examples
 the same time, private
Use synonyms
house
Fix the agreement mistake
houses
show examples
also
Linking Words
 receive the various benefit for
people
Use synonyms
 in numerous aspects. Fundamentally,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
individuals can obtain private space both for
them
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 family and their person, and
also
Linking Words
 it can be
Correct article usage
a ways
show examples
ways
Fix the agreement mistake
way
show examples
 to decline a potential distribution from
negative
Add an article
a negative
show examples
 environment.
For example
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 are capable
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
create
Verb problem
making
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
decision
Fix the agreement mistake
decisions
show examples
 freely, especially about the location of the
house
Use synonyms
 and
own
Correct pronoun usage
their own
show examples
 preference to move away
for
Change preposition
from
show examples
 bad
neighborhood
Fix the agreement mistake
neighborhoods
show examples
such
Linking Words
 as conflict zones or marginal areas
that
Linking Words
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 known as crime
place
Fix the agreement mistake
places
show examples
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, it
support
Change the verb form
supports
show examples
 the communities to be more innovative and possible to construct their home
base
Wrong verb form
based
show examples
 on their desire and creativity.
Additionally
Linking Words
, they have
freedom
Add an article
the freedom
show examples
 to rebuild in the future,
such
Linking Words
 as changing the
colors
Change the spelling
colours
show examples
 and giving the
house
Use synonyms
 additional ornaments. In conclusion,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
both
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
options have their own benefit for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 like, rental properties can be suitable for the young groups.
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
 the other hand, private properties
also
Linking Words
 offer the owner huge useful things.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
The essay addresses both views and gives a clear opinion, which is good. However, it would be beneficial to make the introduction a little clearer and more concise. Try to introduce your key points succinctly.
task achievement
While the essay does present arguments for both sides, some points lack depth and could be elaborated further. Including more specific examples and detailed explanations would strengthen your arguments.
coherence cohesion
The essay is generally coherent and cohesive. However, some sentences are complex and slightly difficult to follow. Simplifying your sentence structure and ensuring each paragraph has a clear main idea can help improve readability.
coherence cohesion
The transitions between paragraphs can be improved. Use more linking words and phrases to better connect your ideas and make the essay flow more smoothly.
task achievement
The essay successfully covers both sides of the argument and presents your opinion, fulfilling the task requirements.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, which helps to frame the essay effectively.
task achievement
The essay includes some relevant examples, which help to illustrate your points.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: