Many people prefer to live in their own house, while others are prepared to live in rental properties. Discuss both views, give your own opinion and examples.

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A number of
people
have
the
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apply
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different
opinion
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opinions
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regarding the best
resident
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residence
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to live
in
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apply
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, some groups believe that
private
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a private
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house
can be the best option and, others consider residing in rental
propererties
Correct your spelling
properties
. In my opinion, there
are
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is
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potential
benefit
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benefits
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from both
of
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apply
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model
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models
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, and I will elaborate
this
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on this
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phenomenon
through
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in
show examples
this
essay. The rental
house
can be
proper
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the proper
a proper
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solution for the community with massive consideration regarding cost budget and still in the
prosses
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process
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to establish
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of establishing
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their career as worker and have necessary to minimize the budget,
due to
the fact, that
people
just
begin
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begun
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their professional working space have limitation in the revenue aspect.
For instance
, young generations nowadays with unsteady
occupation
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occupations
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refers to rent
apartment
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apartments
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with certain
bill
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bills
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since it is more generous than
purchase
Wrong verb form
purchasing
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a
house
with credit
,
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apply
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since they just passed their school season and need to grow their professional record in working life,
therefore
rental residence can be
good
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a good
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assistance in financial sector, in order to it is crucial for them to optimize their expenditure and manage their income properly.
In
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At
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the same time, private
house
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houses
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also
receive the various benefit for
people
in numerous aspects. Fundamentally,
the
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apply
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individuals can obtain private space both for
them
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their
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family and their person, and
also
it can be
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a ways
show examples
ways
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way
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to decline a potential distribution from
negative
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a negative
show examples
environment.
For example
,
people
are capable
to
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of
show examples
create
Verb problem
making
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the
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apply
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decision
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decisions
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freely, especially about the location of the
house
and
own
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their own
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preference to move away
for
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from
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bad
neighborhood
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neighborhoods
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such
as conflict zones or marginal areas
that
is
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are
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known as crime
place
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places
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.
Furthermore
, it
support
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supports
show examples
the communities to be more innovative and possible to construct their home
base
Wrong verb form
based
show examples
on their desire and creativity.
Additionally
, they have
freedom
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the freedom
show examples
to rebuild in the future,
such
as changing the
colors
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colours
show examples
and giving the
house
additional ornaments. In conclusion,
the
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apply
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both
of
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apply
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options have their own benefit for
the
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apply
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people
like, rental properties can be suitable for the young groups.
In
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On
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the other hand, private properties
also
offer the owner huge useful things.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

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task achievement
The essay addresses both views and gives a clear opinion, which is good. However, it would be beneficial to make the introduction a little clearer and more concise. Try to introduce your key points succinctly.
task achievement
While the essay does present arguments for both sides, some points lack depth and could be elaborated further. Including more specific examples and detailed explanations would strengthen your arguments.
coherence cohesion
The essay is generally coherent and cohesive. However, some sentences are complex and slightly difficult to follow. Simplifying your sentence structure and ensuring each paragraph has a clear main idea can help improve readability.
coherence cohesion
The transitions between paragraphs can be improved. Use more linking words and phrases to better connect your ideas and make the essay flow more smoothly.
task achievement
The essay successfully covers both sides of the argument and presents your opinion, fulfilling the task requirements.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, which helps to frame the essay effectively.
task achievement
The essay includes some relevant examples, which help to illustrate your points.
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