IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Many people do not care enough about environmental issues? do you agree or disagree?

#people #care
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Nowadays most of the
nations’
Correct your spelling
nation’s
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 citizens
have
Verb problem
are
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 not concerned about the environmental impacts. I strongly agree with
this
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 statement by giving the
below mentioned
Add a hyphen
below-mentioned
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 specific points,
Firstly
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,
due to
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 the revolution of industrialization, transportation and factories
are
Verb problem
have
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 developed tremendously.
Hence
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, the air and water start to pollute.
Moreover
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, all country
people
Use synonyms
haven’t
Verb problem
aren’t
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 interested
about
Change preposition
in
show examples
this
Linking Words
issues
Fix the agreement mistake
issue
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.
Secondly
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,
people
Use synonyms
 have
lot
Correct article usage
a lot
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 of pressure which
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 associated with their families and work burden.
Hence
Linking Words
, most of them do not have enough time to intervene
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
 commodity issues.
Additionally
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, most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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individuals are very keen to migrate
in
Change preposition
to
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 urban areas, so
traffic
Correct article usage
the traffic
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 crisis is increasing and it has polluted the air but
people
Use synonyms
don’t
Verb problem
are not
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concern
Replace the word
concerned
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 about that
also
Linking Words
 they disavow
to use
Verb problem
apply
show examples
public transport. To illustrate, in my country most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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people
Use synonyms
 are purchasing
two wheelers
Add a hyphen
two-wheelers
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 and cars,
thus
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traffic
Correct article usage
the traffic
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 problem has increased and the air is polluting drastically. It has resulted the climate change abnormally and the
summer time
Correct your spelling
summertime
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 heat has appeared more than normal level.
Furthermore
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, each
country
Change noun form
country's
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 development
has
Unnecessary verb
apply
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completely
depend
Correct subject-verb agreement
depends
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 on
their
Correct pronoun usage
its
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 citizens.
Hence
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, they should cooperate with their government orders.
Whereas
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,
people
Use synonyms
 should change their attitude
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also
Correct word choice
and also
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 don’t behave as a selfish mind. All men and women must come out from their life circle and look at their surroundings. Whilst, government and their pollution control department should be aware, they don’t allow factories to pile the
wastages
Replace the word
waste
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 in dwelling areas.
To conclude
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,
people
Use synonyms
 and
government
Correct article usage
the government
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have
Add a missing verb
do have
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 not enough awareness about environmental problems at present times.
This
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 is not
a
Change the article
apply
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fair and it will ruin the
Use synonyms
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
 health and lifetime.
Hence
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, both of them should cooperate and eradicate the environmental problems and save the entire universe.
Submitted by smsundaram57 on

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coherence cohesion
Consider structuring paragraphs more logically. Each paragraph should ideally focus on one main idea. For instance, separate the discussion about industrialization from issues such as traffic congestion.
task achievement
There are instances of awkward language use and grammatical errors. For example, 'air and water start to pollute' should be 'air and water started getting polluted.' Spend some time reviewing grammar rules and practicing sentence construction.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which aids in guiding the reader through the argument.
task achievement
Relevant examples, such as the increase in purchasing two-wheelers and cars in your country, help to substantiate your points.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • prioritize
  • immediate needs
  • connect with
  • distant
  • abstract
  • economic considerations
  • growing awareness
  • active participation
  • initiatives
  • movements
  • impacts
  • well-being
What to do next:
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