Many people do not care enough about environmental issues? do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays most of the
nations’
Correct your spelling
nation’s
show examples
citizens
have
Verb problem
are
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not concerned about the environmental impacts. I strongly agree with
this
statement by giving the
below mentioned
Add a hyphen
below-mentioned
show examples
specific points,
Firstly
,
due to
the revolution of industrialization, transportation and factories
are
Verb problem
have
show examples
developed tremendously.
Hence
, the air and water start to pollute.
Moreover
, all country
people
haven’t
Verb problem
aren’t
show examples
interested
about
Change preposition
in
show examples
this
issues
Fix the agreement mistake
issue
show examples
.
Secondly
,
people
have
lot
Correct article usage
a lot
show examples
of pressure which
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
associated with their families and work burden.
Hence
, most of them do not have enough time to intervene
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
commodity issues.
Additionally
, most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
individuals are very keen to migrate
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
urban areas, so
traffic
Correct article usage
the traffic
show examples
crisis is increasing and it has polluted the air but
people
don’t
Verb problem
are not
show examples
concern
Replace the word
concerned
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about that
also
they disavow
to use
Verb problem
apply
show examples
public transport. To illustrate, in my country most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
are purchasing
two wheelers
Add a hyphen
two-wheelers
show examples
and cars,
thus
traffic
Correct article usage
the traffic
show examples
problem has increased and the air is polluting drastically. It has resulted the climate change abnormally and the
summer time
Correct your spelling
summertime
show examples
heat has appeared more than normal level.
Furthermore
, each
country
Change noun form
country's
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development
has
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
completely
depend
Correct subject-verb agreement
depends
show examples
on
their
Correct pronoun usage
its
show examples
citizens.
Hence
, they should cooperate with their government orders.
Whereas
,
people
should change their attitude
also
Correct word choice
and also
show examples
don’t behave as a selfish mind. All men and women must come out from their life circle and look at their surroundings. Whilst, government and their pollution control department should be aware, they don’t allow factories to pile the
wastages
Replace the word
waste
show examples
in dwelling areas.
To conclude
,
people
and
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
have
Add a missing verb
do have
show examples
not enough awareness about environmental problems at present times.
This
is not
a
Change the article
apply
show examples
fair and it will ruin the
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
health and lifetime.
Hence
, both of them should cooperate and eradicate the environmental problems and save the entire universe.
Submitted by smsundaram57 on

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coherence cohesion
Consider structuring paragraphs more logically. Each paragraph should ideally focus on one main idea. For instance, separate the discussion about industrialization from issues such as traffic congestion.
task achievement
There are instances of awkward language use and grammatical errors. For example, 'air and water start to pollute' should be 'air and water started getting polluted.' Spend some time reviewing grammar rules and practicing sentence construction.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which aids in guiding the reader through the argument.
task achievement
Relevant examples, such as the increase in purchasing two-wheelers and cars in your country, help to substantiate your points.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • prioritize
  • immediate needs
  • connect with
  • distant
  • abstract
  • economic considerations
  • growing awareness
  • active participation
  • initiatives
  • movements
  • impacts
  • well-being
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