IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

A lot of places in the world rely on tourism as a main source of income. Unfortunately, tourism can also be a source of problems if it is not well-managed. What are the advantages and disadvantages of tourism in the modern world? Do you think that the benefits of tourism outweigh it is drawbacks?

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Many countries and places in the world rely on
tourism
Use synonyms
 as a
mainly
Change the adverb
main
show examples
 source of revenue.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
,
tourism
Use synonyms
 can
also
Linking Words
 be a source of issues if
it's not well control
Change the verb form
it's not well controlled
it's not well controlling
show examples
. There are
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
good and outweigh sides
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
tourism
Use synonyms
 in the modern world.
For instance
Linking Words
, a lot of
tourists
Use synonyms
 visit
to
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
our country
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 spot ancient buildings or
relaxing
Wrong verb form
relax
show examples
 in our country.
This
Linking Words
reasons
Fix the agreement mistake
reason
show examples
 can be one example.
Firstly
Linking Words
, environmental problems mean,
many
Correct word choice
that many
show examples
tourists
Use synonyms
 visiting attractive places are more likely to come with tons of unidentifiable matters like viruses and environmental issues.
For instance
Linking Words
, we don't know what will happen when it comes from a virus, so, we have to worry about infectious
disease
Fix the agreement mistake
diseases
show examples
. Because
anomynous
Correct your spelling
anonymous
tourists
Use synonyms
 with infectious diseases are more likely to attack native people
quitly
Correct your spelling
quietly
, it could have side effects.
Secondly
Linking Words
, there is cultural trouble, which means most
tourists
Use synonyms
 from different countries have their own cultural identification. Sometimes,
this
Linking Words
 can generate many misunderstandings. If it assumed that native people are much more likely not to speak English, I'm standing each other would be a waste of time.
Along with
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 problem, sometimes racial issues would arise. Almost all
tourists
Use synonyms
 are
western
Capitalize word
Western
show examples
 people so
unique
Correct article usage
the unique
show examples
 and invaluable culture of their native region would
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
possible
Replace the word
possibly
show examples
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
disappear with their visit. In conclusion, in my opinion,
tourism
Use synonyms
 is
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 main source of income for
tourists
Use synonyms
, but we have to take these aspects, into consideration. Individuals who want to travel should try to respect native cultures and personal
hygienece
Correct your spelling
hygiene
.

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task achievement
Ensure that you proofread your essay to correct grammatical and vocabulary errors, such as "mainly source" instead of "main source" and "well control" instead of "well-managed."
task achievement
Strengthen your argument by providing more specific and relevant examples. For instance, you could mention how specific countries benefit economically from tourism or discuss particular cultural misunderstandings.
coherence cohesion
Better organize your essay with clear paragraphs for each main point. This will improve readability and coherence.
coherence cohesion
Develop your ideas more fully. Each argument should be explored in depth to provide a thorough response.
task achievement
The essay addresses both advantages and disadvantages of tourism, showing an understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
The writer has attempted to structure the essay with an introduction, body, and conclusion.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • sustainable tourism
  • ecotourism
  • heritage sites
  • hospitality industry
  • tourist influx
  • cultural commodification
  • ecological footprint
  • economic diversification
  • carrying capacity
  • cultural sensitivity
  • destination marketing
  • travel advisories
  • visitor management
  • impact assessment
  • tourism revenues
  • authentic experience
  • visitor satisfaction
  • conservation efforts
  • seasonal fluctuation
  • social sustainability
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