The graph below shows the percentage ofhouseholds with different kinds of technology in theU.S.from 1995 to 1999.Summarize the informationby selecting and reporting the main features, andmake comparisons where relevant.Write at least 150 words.

#percentage #ofhouseholds #kinds #technology #theu #informationby #features #andmake #comparisons

The given line chart illustrates the percentage of households with different kinds of technology in the U.S from 1995 to 1999,

It is clear that

DVD players were the lowest type of technology owned by a household in 1999 with approximately 40 % of households. First of all, washing machines

Wrong verb form

were

show examples

the most popular technological device in all five years and witnessed a 20% increase between 1995 and 1999,

In addition

, the percentage of computers in houses

have

Correct subject-verb agreement

has

show examples

jumped significantly as shown in the line chart.

Furthermore

, computers were

second

Correct article usage

the second

show examples

most common electronics in households until 1998,

Nonetheless

, suddenly in the middle of 1998 the rate of phones took over second place.

Which

Correct pronoun usage

This

show examples

means in 1999

computer

Fix the agreement mistake

computers

show examples

third

Correct article usage

the third

show examples

common device. In conclusion, DVD players were the least technology owned in a household,

Whereas

washing machines were the most common.

Submitted by yazanalt523 on Sun Jun 23 2024

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.

Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.

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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.

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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

140 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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The graph below shows the percentage ofhouseholds with different kinds of technology in theU.S.from 1995 to 1999.Summarize the informationby selecting and reporting the main features, andmake comparisons where relevant.Write at least 150 words.

A lot of money is spent on repairing old building. Instead of repairing old building that money should be spent on knocking down old building and building new ones. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

You received a letter from your friend informing you that his elderly parents are coming to visit in your area and he is asking for your on - which places they should visit - where should they live -invite them to do something with you

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shoppings centres or malls to do their shoping. Is this a positive or a negative development?

Many people join online learning programs and study at home, but some people think that it cannot bring the same benefit as attending colleges or universities does. Do you agree or disagree? Use good reasons and examples

In many countries, paying for things using mobile phone (cellphone) apps is becoming increasingly common. Does this development have more advantages or disadvantages?