IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe that the internet has positive effect , others think that It has negative trends .Discuss both views and give your opinion .

#people #internet #effect #trends
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In recent years, the implementation of the
Internet
 had a great impact on people's lives. Some people believe that the
internet
 has a favourable effect
while
 some argue and consider it unfavourable. In
this
 essay, I will discuss both perspectives and express my opinion. On the one hand, the insertion of the
Internet
 in countries has a huge trail on residents' lives.
Furthermore
, it contributes to improving education quality and the ability to grasp knowledge more easily.
For example
, inserting the
Internet
 in schools has assisted teachers greatly in making interactive classes.
However
, it helps many students who learn foreign languages to practice, enhance their languages and broaden their horizons.
On the other hand
, the presence of the
internet
 has various disadvantages, misuse of it can lead to breaking their values and their principles.
This
internet
 could distract our social lives and relationships.
For instance
, those who are usage to the
internet
 often lose their skills in making new friends and new relations because they used to contact their electronic peers beyond the screen. The great influence of using the
internet
 is some of them lose their reading habit and practice their hobbies in much of societies. In conclusion, I fully agree with how the
internet
 is useful and encourages nations to learn of variety sorts of sciences and contact their family from a long distance. Some of
this
 harm is making the world busy with their mobile phones and keeping them away from reality.
Submitted by rraghad.b on

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task achievement
Try to provide more specific examples to support your points. For instance, mentioning particular studies or data can strengthen your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Work on transitioning smoothly between ideas and paragraphs. This will help improve the logical flow of your essay.
language accuracy
Pay attention to minor grammar and syntax errors to improve clarity and readability.
structure
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps frame your argument well.
task achievement
You have addressed both sides of the argument, which shows a balanced approach to the topic.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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