IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

In many countries, truancy* is a big problem for both parents and educators. •What are the causes of truancy, and what may be the effects on the child and the wider community?

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Truancy
Use synonyms
 – is one of the popular illegal activities in our schooldays. In some
nations
Add a comma
nations,
show examples
 there are worrying
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
 for parents and they are distracting with doubts. So,
this
Linking Words
 is kind
a
Change preposition
of a
show examples
like solution for their unrest.
Overall
Linking Words
, there
are
Change the verb form
is
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a great deal of
Change the quantifier
a lot of
many
plenty of
show examples
 students who just want
commit
Fix the infinitive
to commit
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the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
truancy
Use synonyms
 when
their
Replace the word
they're
they are
show examples
 really exhausted and stale.
For example
Linking Words
, in our country 80 per cent of
schoolchild
Fix the agreement mistake
schoolchildren
show examples
whom
Change the pronoun
who
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dedicate
Verb problem
commit
show examples
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 unlawful actions.
For instance
Linking Words
, some of them think that
truancy
Use synonyms
 is the easiest way to get
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
relax. Do you ever
think
Verb problem
wonder
show examples
 why juniors try to assign
truancy
Use synonyms
? Because, for them
may
Verb problem
apply
show examples
be
this
Linking Words
 lesson is uninteresting and dull. There is
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 solution: In my opinion, we should pay attention
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 all pupils for their good relationship
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
 the school.
Also
Linking Words
, give them more various
interest
Fix the agreement mistake
interests
show examples
 and joyful
exercise
Fix the agreement mistake
exercises
show examples
 or home tasks. And,
at the end
Linking Words
 of
year
Add a comma
year,
show examples
 you must check total knowledge to realize
this
Linking Words
 method. In conclusion, experiments
such
Linking Words
 as
this
Linking Words
 system will help you, and the list of
Use synonyms
truancy
Replace the word
truant
show examples
 undergraduates should decrease.

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task achievement
The essay should provide more detailed causes and effects of truancy, both on the individual child and the wider community. Try to include specific statistics or studies to support your claims.
task achievement
Work on developing clearer and more comprehensive ideas. Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea and that your ideas flow logically from one to the next.
coherence cohesion
Strengthen the logical structure of your essay by using paragraphs more effectively. Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and supports your overall argument.
coherence cohesion
Improve the introduction by providing a clearer overview of the main points you will cover. The conclusion should also summarize the main points more effectively and offer a final insight. Both the introduction and conclusion should bracket the main content cohesively.
task achievement
The essay identifies truancy as a significant issue and attempts to discuss its causes and potential solutions, which is a good starting point.
task achievement
The essay demonstrates an effort to provide examples, even though they could be more detailed and relevant.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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