You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree? You should write at least 250 words
Firstly
, any help to the
others is a great step to improve the Correct article usage
apply
world
and get a world
more compensed
. Correct your spelling
compensated
However
, to be honest, getting this
world
with the same opportunities for all is like an utopy
.
Surely, there are other ways to help Correct your spelling
autopsy
utopia
to
poorer countries, Change preposition
apply
moreover
financial aids
. Fix the agreement mistake
aid
Nonetheless
, and unfortunately, all in this
world
is around money
. And all help is around money
as well. Therefore
, if there are
another Change the verb form
is
way
to help them is free, not using money
for this
.
For instance
, the rich countries could help teaching
their Wrong verb form
teach
knowdledge
, building a great base for the Correct your spelling
knowledge
people
without enough resources. Or for example
, giving them food. Other way
can be building good Fix the agreement mistake
ways
infraestructures
, urban Correct your spelling
infrastructures
infrastructure
and
buildings. Nowadays, Correct word choice
apply
this
type of aids
exists, but perhaps it is not enough. But perhaps, the idea Fix the agreement mistake
aid
to get
a Change preposition
of getting
world
exactly same
for all, can not be interesting for some Correct article usage
the same
people
who prefer living in a place with enormous differences. Because some believe that if there are not
poor Correct your spelling
no
people
there wont
be rich Add an apostrophe
won't
people
.
However
, every country has own
culture, its Correct pronoun usage
its own
way
to do
things and Change preposition
of doing
differents
Correct your spelling
different
way
Fix the agreement mistake
ways
to think
about all in Change preposition
of thinking
this
life, moreover
different climate
. In my opinion, financial Fix the agreement mistake
climates
aids
Fix the agreement mistake
aid
are
important, but it is most Correct subject-verb agreement
is
importantly
that we are more open to the Change the word
important
world
,
and empathetic. And Remove the comma
apply
above all
, to be wailing
to help Verb problem
willing
to
Change preposition
apply
the
others.
In conclusion, we need to change our Correct article usage
apply
way
to think
and living, thinking more about Change preposition
of thinking
the
others to Correct article usage
apply
get
a Verb problem
make
world
more fair
for everyone. Whereby, we have the opportunity to improve the situation, not only Replace the words
fairer
giving
Change preposition
by giving
money
,
but Remove the comma
apply
also
changing
our selfish mentality.Change preposition
by changing
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task achievement
Try to introduce your position more clearly in the introduction. Doing so will make your arguments easier to follow.
coherence cohesion
To improve on coherence and cohesion, make sure each paragraph transitions smoothly from one idea to the next.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your main points. This will add depth to your arguments.
task achievement
You present a balanced discussion on the topic, highlighting both sides of the argument before stating your opinion.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and offers a clear closing statement.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example
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