You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree? You should write at least 250 words

#minutes #countries #money #poverty #aid

Firstly

, any help to

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

others is a great step to improve the

world

and get a

world

compensed

Correct your spelling

compensated

However

, to be honest, getting

this

world

with the same opportunities for all is like an

utopy

Correct your spelling

autopsy

utopia

. Surely, there are other ways to help

Change preposition

apply

show examples

poorer countries,

moreover

financial

aids

Fix the agreement mistake

aid

show examples

Nonetheless

, and unfortunately, all in

this

world

is around

money

. And all help is around

money

as well.

Therefore

, if there

are

Change the verb form

show examples

another

way

to help them is free, not using

money

for

this

For instance

, the rich countries could help

teaching

Wrong verb form

teach

show examples

their

knowdledge

Correct your spelling

knowledge

, building a great base for the

people

without enough resources. Or

for example

, giving them food. Other

way

Fix the agreement mistake

ways

show examples

can be building good

infraestructures

Correct your spelling

infrastructures

infrastructure

, urban

and

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

buildings. Nowadays,

this

type of

aids

Fix the agreement mistake

aid

show examples

exists, but perhaps it is not enough. But perhaps, the idea

to get

Change preposition

of getting

show examples

world

exactly

same

Correct article usage

the same

show examples

for all, can not be interesting for some

people

who prefer living in a place with enormous differences. Because some believe that if there are

not

Correct your spelling

show examples

poor

people

there

wont

Add an apostrophe

won't

show examples

be rich

people

However

, every country has

own

Correct pronoun usage

its own

show examples

culture, its

way

to do

Change preposition

of doing

show examples

things and

differents

Correct your spelling

different

show examples

way

Fix the agreement mistake

ways

show examples

to think

Change preposition

of thinking

show examples

about all in

this

life,

moreover

different

climate

Fix the agreement mistake

climates

show examples

. In my opinion, financial

aids

Fix the agreement mistake

aid

show examples

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

important, but it is most

importantly

Change the word

important

show examples

that we are more open to the

world

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and empathetic. And

above all

, to be

wailing

Verb problem

willing

show examples

to help

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

others. In conclusion, we need to change our

way

to think

Change preposition

of thinking

show examples

and living, thinking more about

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

others to

get

Verb problem

make

show examples

world

more fair

Replace the words

fairer

show examples

for everyone. Whereby, we have the opportunity to improve the situation, not only

giving

Change preposition

by giving

show examples

money

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

but

also

changing

Change preposition

by changing

show examples

our selfish mentality.

Submitted by lydiagarcia.gr on Mon Jun 24 2024

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task achievement

Try to introduce your position more clearly in the introduction. Doing so will make your arguments easier to follow.

coherence cohesion

To improve on coherence and cohesion, make sure each paragraph transitions smoothly from one idea to the next.

task achievement

Provide more specific examples to support your main points. This will add depth to your arguments.

task achievement

You present a balanced discussion on the topic, highlighting both sides of the argument before stating your opinion.

coherence cohesion

Your conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and offers a clear closing statement.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
36Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

276 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Today more and more people want things instantly (e.g: goods, service, news). Why is this? Is this a positive or negative development?

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In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative situation?

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