- Many high street shops have gone out of business in recent years. Why do you think this has happened? Is it a positive or negative development?

#street #shops #business #years #development

Shopping is

inseparable

Add an article

an inseparable

show examples

part of every individual. In the modern era, technology paves its path and makes it more accessible for everyone. By increasing the popularity of an online version, it is believed that the traditional one of marketing is eradicated.

This

essay will express the reasons for

this

phenomenon and its effects . The development of technology leads to numerous changes in the diverse aspects of lives and shopping is no exception. The online manner of shopping has become more prevalent among people,

due to

its simple accessibility.

In other words

, most of the traditional stores have specific

timetable

Fix the agreement mistake

timetables

show examples

which

does

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

not match

with

Change preposition

apply

show examples

people’s

schedule

Fix the agreement mistake

schedules

show examples

For example

, ones who have to work until night do not have an opportunity to shop, the accessibility to the modern stores is,

however

, round-the-clock.

Consequently

, the all benefits of it and

also

people’s tendencies towards being up-to-date

makes

Correct subject-verb agreement

make

show examples

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the foremost manner of marketing. Considering all its drawbacks, it has numerous positive effects on buyers

as well as

sellers and societies. It may be argued that developing state-of-the-art markets would jeopardize the local ones. Considering that if the traditional ones acclimate their trades to technological versions, they could advance their markets from locale to the widen one.

Besides

, it can be a good solution for saving time and reducing traffic congestion.

For example

, statistic illustrates that 30% of congestion in cities is caused by citizens

tend

Wrong verb form

tending

show examples

to shop. All in all, it can benefit by solving cities’ issues and

also

develop

Wrong verb form

developing

show examples

small local stores. In conclusion, the Internet caused many transformations in

lives

Correct pronoun usage

our lives

show examples

. shopping as a daily activity, which involves everybody,

also

has

been

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

changed.

Except

Add the preposition

Except for

show examples

its drawbacks, it has numerous pros which readily

has

Correct subject-verb agreement

have

show examples

been developed

Change preposition

apply

show examples

all over the world.

Submitted by TUTOO on Mon Jun 24 2024

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task achievement

Your essay provides a complete response to the task, addressing both reasons for the phenomenon and its effects thoroughly. However, more relevant specific examples could enhance your argument. Try to incorporate more concrete and varied examples to strengthen your points.

coherence cohesion

Your essay is generally well-organized, and there is a clear progression of ideas. The introduction and conclusion are present and effective. To improve coherence, ensure that each paragraph further develops a single main idea and transitions smoothly to the next point.

coherence cohesion

Some sentences are quite complex and could be made clearer with simpler language or varied sentence structures. You may introduce linkers or transition words to provide a more seamless flow to your ideas.

introduction conclusion present

Your introduction effectively sets up the essay, clearly stating the topic and the two main areas you will discuss: reasons for the closure of high street shops and its impact.

logical structure

The use of transitions like 'In other words', 'For example', and 'Considering that' helps connect your ideas, enhancing the logical structure and overall coherence.

complete response

You successfully address the task by discussing both the reasons why high street shops are going out of business and evaluating whether this is a positive or negative development.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

291 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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- Many high street shops have gone out of business in recent years. Why do you think this has happened? Is it a positive or negative development?

Your opinion

Nowadays many students have the opportunity to study for part or all of their courses in foreign countries. While studying abroad brings many benefits to individual students, it also has a number of disadvantages. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people think the best way to learn new things is to study them alone. Others think that it is always better to get help from a skilled teacher. Discuss both views and give your opinion