Some working parents believe childcare centers can provide the best care for their children. Others believe that family members like grandparents can do a better job. Discuss both view and give your opinion
Some people believe that
day -care
services preschoolers the best things with are crucial for their ages, Correct your spelling
day-care
while
Linking Words
other
believe that family members Fix the agreement mistake
others
such
as Linking Words
grandparents
will be suitable . Use synonyms
This
essay will discuss both Linking Words
view
and agree with the Change to a plural noun
views
farmer
points
There are two key reasons why busy parents want their Change noun form
farmer's
kids
to be looked after by their family members, Use synonyms
such
as Linking Words
grandparents
. The first compelling justification is that Use synonyms
grandparents
have more experience in raising small Use synonyms
children
, so they know what needs to be done to make Use synonyms
kids
better. Use synonyms
That is
the reason why in Asian countries, there are more and more multigenerational families where parents and their Linking Words
children
’s families live together. Another benefit worth mentioning is that family members will take more care of Use synonyms
kids
. To be specific, in preschools, there are a lot of toddlers; Use synonyms
thus
, it is difficult for teachers to take notice of all of them. Linking Words
In contrast
, Linking Words
grandparents
have more time to take care of Use synonyms
kids
, especially when feeding them.
Use synonyms
On the other hand
, taking preschoolers to childcare Linking Words
centers
has its own merits. First and foremost, Change the spelling
centres
day-care
services provide toddlers with a good environment to enhance their aptitudes and interact with each other at the same age. There is research indicating that those Correct your spelling
daycare
children
listening to a lot of baby talk are talking more than the babies to more adult talks and standard speech since frequent baby talk has dramatically boosted Use synonyms
Furthermore
, going to childcare Linking Words
centers
will provide small Change the spelling
centres
children
Use synonyms
a
large range of opportunities to expand their imagination and social skills. Add the preposition
with a
This
is because kindergarteners usually celebrate interesting outside activities which is an ideal chance for Linking Words
kids
to meet their counterparts and improve soft skills Use synonyms
such
as teamwork and language development.
In conclusion, Linking Words
Although
family member has more experience and time to take of Linking Words
children
. I Use synonyms
support
Verb problem
think
child
care centre is better because Correct article usage
a child
in
Change preposition
apply
current
they Change the word
currently
has
modern technology to help you look Change the verb form
have
up
after your Change preposition
apply
kids
.Use synonyms
Submitted by viewsoysoongnern on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
The essay needs to address both views more evenly. While you have discussed both perspectives, ensure that your response to each side is balanced in terms of depth and detail.
task achievement
Make sure to fully develop your points with more concrete examples and detailed explanations. For example, when discussing the benefits of day-care centers, specific programs or activities could be mentioned.
coherence cohesion
Your introductory paragraph needs to be clearer and more concise. The initial sentence is a bit unclear and could be better structured to precisely reflect the essay's argument.
coherence cohesion
Work on your conclusion. It feels rushed and incomplete. Make sure to clearly summarize your points and conclusively state your opinion, enhancing the overall structure of the essay.
coherence cohesion
Make sure that each paragraph transitions smoothly into the next. Try to use linking words and phrases to improve the logical flow of your ideas.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure with separate paragraphs dedicated to discussing each viewpoint. This helps in presenting your ideas in an organized manner.
task achievement
You provide specific reasons and examples to support your argument, which helps to clarify your stance and make your essay more compelling.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?