Influence of human beings on the world ecosystem is leading to the extinction of species and loss of biodiversity. What are the primary causes of loss of bio diversity? What measures can you suggest
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Human beings play
detrimental
impact on the world environment, which results in the extinction of creatures and Add an article
a detrimental
Correct article usage
the lost
lost
of biodiversity. Replace the word
loss
This
alarming situation is caused by several reasons and impose
severe consequences on the safety of species. Addressing Correct subject-verb agreement
imposes
this
troublesome issue is crucial to ensure a sustainable future.
One of the primary causes is deferestation
which mainly stems from local people for farming. From their perspective, cutting down trees is essential to Correct your spelling
deforestation
makes
and meets. Change the verb
make
However
, this
action lead
to Change the verb form
leads
habitats
loss of animals. They do not have any places to find food Change the noun form
habitat
and
give birth, and eventually die out. Dodo Correct word choice
apply
birds
extinction is a clear example. Fix the agreement mistake
bird
Specificly
, their nests were destroyed by local Correct your spelling
Specifically
peoples
for agriculture in Fix the agreement mistake
people
1900s
. After that, Change the article
the 1900s
this
kind of bird could not adapt to the change and got a destructive consequence.
To resolve this
problem, the government should launch some projects to help the local
seek jobs. When they have occupations and a stable income, farming is not their only method to earn money. Fix the agreement mistake
locals
Therefore
, deforestation can be reduced considerably, and species stay peacefully in their habitats. For instance
, some similar campaigns are done in Britain. The result showed that the number of trees cut each month recorded decreasing
by 70%.
In conclusion, Wrong verb form
decreased
deforestaton
is the biggest cause contributing to dying out animals and loss of biodiversity. Correct your spelling
deforestation
Nevertheless
, the identified matter can be tackled by actions of the government, which helps people to have new jobs, keeping them far away from cutting down trees for farming.Submitted by 22028151 on
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coherence cohesion
Your essay is generally coherent and has a logical structure. However, you need to make sure that every main point is fully developed with supporting details. For instance, consider adding more information on how the initiatives in Britain were implemented and how they specifically impacted deforestation rates and biodiversity.
task achievement
Make sure to address secondary causes of biodiversity loss for a more comprehensive answer. The essay focuses too much on deforestation. Mentioning other factors such as pollution, climate change, and illegal wildlife trade would make your response more complete.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction clearly states the problem and the importance of addressing it. This sets a good tone for the rest of the essay.
task achievement
The example of Dodo birds and the mention of initiatives in Britain add relevancy to your arguments, making your essay more convincing.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?