We cannot help everyone in the world that needs help, so we should only be concerned with our own communities and countries. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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It is true that we can not help whole
people
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in the world
in
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with
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problem
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problems
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,as
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this
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apply
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some
people
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belive
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believe
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that we must think about our nation's
people
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'
problem
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problems
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and solve them.
While
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our citizens and
people
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are like our family and more important to us,
but
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apply
show examples
I disagree
whit
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with
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this
Linking Words
opinion.
In
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On
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one
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the one
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hand
people
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say that society is
equvalent
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equal
to family and must put first that I accept
this
Linking Words
for some reasons.
Firstly
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, it is easy to help
people
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around us, like
give
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giving
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some money,
cloths
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clothes
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and food on a road
for
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to
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homeless
people
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in our town.
Secondly
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, we should be a good example of being kind and
jenerous
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generous
to our kids by helping
people
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in front of their eyes to show them the good way of
be
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being
show examples
among
growd
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grown
.By way of an example, participate in
voluntree
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volunteer
activities
an
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and
show examples
charity
club
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clubs
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with our children and try to not ignore
people
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in hard
situation
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situations
show examples
.
Finally
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,
by
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apply
show examples
extending a helping hand to
under
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apply
show examples
poverty line citizen to improve their financial condition actually
we
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apply
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helped us by diminishing
crime
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the crime
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rate
due to
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starving
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starvation
show examples
and
this
Linking Words
make
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makes
show examples
our community safe
for
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apply
show examples
ourselves
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apply
show examples
.
Therefore
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I try to contribute to national charity as much as I can. Nowadays, thanks to mass media we
aware
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are aware
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of all around the world, so national boundaries cant prevent us
of
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from
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thinking about horrible
condition
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conditions
show examples
in other countries
particularly
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, particularly
show examples
African nations suffer from curable
deases
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diseases
and die just for not having money as much as
few
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a few
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dollars to survive.Regarding
human's
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human
show examples
nation, if anyone was
in to
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into
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mine
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mind
show examples
of saving one child from falling or
other's
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another's
show examples
from killing by an accident meanwhile, absolutely choose
saving
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to save
show examples
a life rather than any other thing,
therefore
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we must
puting
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putting
the most
effectivness
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effective
effectiveness
help with
same
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the same
show examples
budget than who may get
this
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money.
This
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is the real means of humanity and helping
other
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others
show examples
and we can see the result of
this
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in our lives. In conclusion,
while
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I help more frequently to my country's
people
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on
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in
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on
show examples
tight
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a tight
show examples
Fix the agreement mistake
budgets
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budget
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budgets
show examples
and hard
time
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times more
show examples
than other foreign
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ones
show examples
one
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ones
show examples
, I strongly
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believe
show examples
belive
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believe
show examples
that we
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should
shold
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should
not extend
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a helping
show examples
helping
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a helping
show examples
hand just to our
people
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,
also
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sometimes overseas'
people
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must be put
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apply
show examples
at
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apply
show examples
first as they are more
dsirable
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desirable
durable
to get help.
Submitted by aliaghanjd74 on

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coherence cohesion
To enhance your logical structure, ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea and use linking words to connect your arguments smoothly.
task achievement
Work on developing your ideas more fully. For example, explain why helping people in other countries can also benefit your own community.
task achievement
Provide more relevant and specific examples to support your points. For instance, mention specific initiatives or programs that help people internationally and the impact they have.
task achievement
Your essay tackles both sides of the argument, showing a balanced viewpoint.
coherence cohesion
There is a clear introduction and a conclusion, which frames your essay well.
task achievement
You emphasize the importance of helping both local and international communities, which is a compelling argument.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • global interconnectivity
  • international cooperation
  • ethics
  • moral obligation
  • geographical borders
  • diplomatic relations
  • economic stability
  • global security
  • resource allocation
  • expertise
  • international aid
  • dependency and development
  • sustainable solutions
  • local and global initiatives
  • community resilience
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