Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships that people make? Has this been a positive or negative development?
Technology
has impacts on how individuals
interact with each others
. Change to a singular noun
other
Meawhile
, it influences Correct your spelling
Meanwhile
people
to establish relationship
in many aspects. In my opinion, because it may yield some harmful effects Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
for
Change preposition
on
indiviudals'
lives, I consider it Correct your spelling
individuals'
as
Change preposition
apply
the
negative development.
There could be a variety of aspects that Correct article usage
a
techonology
influences Correct your spelling
technology
people
's relationship
-making with others. First of all, technology
However
, I deem changes in individuals
' relationthip-making
Correct your spelling
relationship-making
relationships-making
by
the development of Change preposition
to
technology
are detrimental. Firstly
, techonology
renders Correct your spelling
technology
people
make
Fix the infinitive
to make
friends
with other individuals
easier, which makes the relationship
between them tend to be more fragile. Specifically, citizens are able to socialize with individuals
around the world by using the internet technology
, signifying they have higher
possibility to make many new Correct article usage
a higher
friends
through the internet. Consequently
, individuals
are highly likely to get immersed into
making new Change preposition
in
friends
, rather than spending time on
Change preposition
apply
mainting
the Correct your spelling
maintaining
existed
Replace the word
existing
relationship
. Therefore
, the relationship
bewteen
them Correct your spelling
between
are
prone to be uncertain. Change the verb form
is
Secondly
, techonolgy
results Correct your spelling
technology
people
Change preposition
in people
prefer
making Fix the infinitive
to prefer
Add an article
a relationship
the relationship
relationship
with others intentionally. It is widely known that a vast majority of Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
individuals
present their backgrounds on their social media. For example
, some people
like to present their property on their social apps, pretending they are rich, thus
making friends
with wealthy people
. In that case, they hope the relationship
with rich people
may help them in some days.Submitted by 1356388645 on
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coherence cohesion
Work on improving the logical flow of your essay. Present your points in a more structured way, possibly using clear topic sentences and transitions between paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
Ensure to write a conclusion to summarize your points and provide a definitive stance on whether the development is positive or negative.
task achievement
Try to elaborate more on your main points with detailed supporting examples, and ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single idea.
task achievement
Improve the clarity of your ideas by avoiding repetition and focusing on being concise.
general
Consider refining your grammar, vocabulary, and sentence structure for a clearer and more professional presentation.
task achievement
The essay addresses the prompt directly and provides a clear opinion on the topic.
task achievement
The main points are relevant to the topic and show a good understanding of the impact of technology on relationships.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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