Vaccinating children against preventable disease is not only unnecessary but also dangerous to what extend do you agree or disagree

Vaccinating
children
has become increasingly
oupopular
Correct your spelling
popular
unpopular
among certain demographics of society.
This
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These
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people claim that
vaccination
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vaccinations
show examples
are hazardous to
children
's health and
such
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apply
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are not needed.
This
essay will argue why
vaccine
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vaccines
show examples
against preventable diseases
entirely
Add a missing verb
are entirely
show examples
necessary despite some potential
risk
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risks
show examples
. Parents have always been wary of vaccinating their
children
. They are
justiable
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justifiably
justifiable
justiciable
worried about injecting the
children
with unfamiliar substances that could potentially make them sick.Parents naturally feel
a
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apply
show examples
protective for
the
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their
show examples
children
.Indeed there have been some recorded instances
have
Correct pronoun usage
that have
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bolstered existing fear in parents that
vaccination
are
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is
show examples
not necessary and potentially more dangerous than the possibility of contracting the communicable disease itself. Despite the minor
risk
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risks
show examples
associated with vaccinating
children
,the idea that they are unnecessary and dangerous is completely preposterous
vaccination
have
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has
show examples
prevented was
number
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a number
the number
show examples
of dates so far
prevented
Verb problem
apply
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far
out weight
Correct your spelling
outweighs
show examples
the number of
children
we have actually been completely eradicated through
vaccination
campaigns
overall
the idea that
vaccination
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
unnecessary and dangerous is ill-informed and dangerous in itself
andcould
Correct your spelling
and could
potential lead to far
warst
Correct your spelling
worst
outcome for society.
This
essay argued that people who are against
vaccination
have a flawed understanding of
vaccination
and
under
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apply
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stimate
Correct your spelling
estimate
this
affects
of
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apply
show examples
what they believe .In my opinion, vaccinating
children
in
Correct your spelling
is
show examples
absolutely
absolute
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apply
show examples
imperative
that
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and
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is entirely justified despite the small and occasional
risk
Fix the agreement mistake
risks
show examples
involved.
Submitted by piratijaiswal1992 on

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coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, consider breaking down long sentences for more readability and fluidity. Use connectors consistently to transition between points smoothly.
task achievement
Enhance task achievement by incorporating more specific examples and detailed explanations to back your points. A clear distinction between different arguments would also benefit the essay.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear argument in favor of vaccination, addressing opposing views while firmly supporting its stance.
coherence cohesion
The overall structure of the essay is logical, with a discernible introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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