Vaccinating children against preventable disease is not only unnecessary but also dangerous to what extend do you agree or disagree

#children #disease

Vaccinating

children

has become increasingly

oupopular

Correct your spelling

popular

unpopular

among certain demographics of society.

This

Correct pronoun usage

These

show examples

people claim that

vaccination

Fix the agreement mistake

vaccinations

show examples

are hazardous to

children

's health and

such

Correct quantifier usage

apply

show examples

are not needed.

This

essay will argue why

vaccine

Fix the agreement mistake

vaccines

show examples

against preventable diseases

entirely

Add a missing verb

are entirely

show examples

necessary despite some potential

risk

Fix the agreement mistake

risks

show examples

. Parents have always been wary of vaccinating their

children

. They are

justiable

Correct your spelling

justifiably

justifiable

justiciable

worried about injecting the

children

with unfamiliar substances that could potentially make them sick.Parents naturally feel

Remove the article

apply

show examples

protective for

the

Change the word

their

show examples

children

.Indeed there have been some recorded instances

have

Correct pronoun usage

that have

show examples

bolstered existing fear in parents that

vaccination

are

Change the verb form

show examples

not necessary and potentially more dangerous than the possibility of contracting the communicable disease itself. Despite the minor

risk

Fix the agreement mistake

risks

show examples

associated with vaccinating

children

,the idea that they are unnecessary and dangerous is completely preposterous

vaccination

have

Change the verb form

has

show examples

prevented was

number

Change the article

a number

the number

show examples

of dates so far

prevented

Verb problem

apply

show examples

far

out weight

Correct your spelling

outweighs

show examples

the number of

children

we have actually been completely eradicated through

vaccination

campaigns

overall

the idea that

vaccination

are

Change the verb form

show examples

unnecessary and dangerous is ill-informed and dangerous in itself

andcould

Correct your spelling

and could

potential lead to far

warst

Correct your spelling

worst

outcome for society.

This

essay argued that people who are against

vaccination

have a flawed understanding of

vaccination

and

under

Change preposition

apply

show examples

stimate

Correct your spelling

estimate

this

affects

Change preposition

apply

show examples

what they believe .In my opinion, vaccinating

children

Correct your spelling

show examples

absolutely

absolute

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

imperative

that

Correct word choice

and

show examples

is entirely justified despite the small and occasional

risk

Fix the agreement mistake

risks

show examples

involved.

Submitted by piratijaiswal1992 on Mon Jun 24 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion

To improve coherence and cohesion, consider breaking down long sentences for more readability and fluidity. Use connectors consistently to transition between points smoothly.

task achievement

Enhance task achievement by incorporating more specific examples and detailed explanations to back your points. A clear distinction between different arguments would also benefit the essay.

task achievement

The essay presents a clear argument in favor of vaccination, addressing opposing views while firmly supporting its stance.

coherence cohesion

The overall structure of the essay is logical, with a discernible introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
27Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

214 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7.5
band
Successful sports professionals can earn a great deal more money than people in other important professions. Some people think this is fully justified while others think it is unfair. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
In recent years, due to the increased popularity of social media, popular people tend to earn a lot. People in necessary and important professions earn a lot less than popular sports players, which some people think is immoral while others agree that they deserve it. I would agree that it is unfair for professions that require hard work.
5.5
band
Some people think that Olympic games are exciting events that bring other nations together.others say Olympics is a waste of money and the money could be better spent on other things. Discuss both views and give your opinion
Some believe that the Olympic games are wonderful occasions that connect community from different countries while others believe that the Olympics are an unnecessary expense and the fund should be better used for other purposes. This essay agrees that the Olympic games are fantastic moments that nation from various nations join together rather than allowing payment spent on other demands
7
band
More and more wild animals are on the verge of extinction and others are on the endangered list. (What are the reasons for this?, What can be done to solve this problem?) Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Well, there are many reasons why animals become extinct or enter this extensive list, here we will talk about some of them.
5.5
band
Reserarch show that some activities are good for health and others are bad. Despite knowing that millions of people engage in unhealthy activities. what is the causes of this ? what can be done ?
Nowadays, the number of research studies has increased. One of these studies indicates that some activities are good for health and others are harmful, Despite this knowledge, many people are participate in harmul activities. Based on this there are many reasons that lead to this issue and there are many solutions to tackle it.
<4
band
Traditional food is being replaced by international fast food. This has negative effect on family and society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
With the help of the technology the world has come a long way . The lifestyle of people and their preferences has changed alot from the past . One of the most conspicuous trends of today's world is a colossal upsurge in the number of people who believe that AAGlobalization and the increasing popularity of fast food chains are leading to a decline in traditional food consumption.there is a range of conflicting arguments related to the assertion. Whether to agree or not it's a thought-provoking question. In upcoming paragraphs I'll not only shed light on the matter but also elaborate my point of view .

Vaccinating children against preventable disease is not only unnecessary but also dangerous to what extend do you agree or disagree

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Successful sports professionals can earn a great deal more money than people in other important professions. Some people think this is fully justified while others think it is unfair. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people think that Olympic games are exciting events that bring other nations together.others say Olympics is a waste of money and the money could be better spent on other things. Discuss both views and give your opinion

More and more wild animals are on the verge of extinction and others are on the endangered list. (What are the reasons for this?, What can be done to solve this problem?) Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Reserarch show that some activities are good for health and others are bad. Despite knowing that millions of people engage in unhealthy activities. what is the causes of this ? what can be done ?

Traditional food is being replaced by international fast food. This has negative effect on family and society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?