IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

The given pie charts compare the expenses in 7 different categories in 1966 and 1996 by American Citizens. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information below.

The given pie charts compare the expenses in 7 different categories in 1966 and 1996 by American Citizens. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information below.
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The
given
Verb problem
apply
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pie chart demonstrates 7 expenses
on
Change preposition
in
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 different categories in 1966 and 1996 by American citizens,
It is clear that
Linking Words
 car
expenditure
Use synonyms
 had the highest value in 1996 with a percentage of approximately 45%.
According to
Linking Words
 the graph, books were the lowest
expenditure
Use synonyms
 in 1996,
Whereas
Linking Words
 both petrol and furniture were
second
Correct article usage
the second
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 least type of spending in 1996 with a percentage of 8%.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, food and restaurants were both the second most expensive
expenditure
Use synonyms
 in 1996 with a rate of 14%,
In addition
Linking Words
,
computer
Fix the agreement mistake
computers
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 had a similar rate of spending with 10%. In conclusion, car
expenditure
Use synonyms
 was the biggest problem for American citizens in 1966,
also
Linking Words
 food and restaurants witnessed an exaggerated percentage of
spendings
Fix the agreement mistake
spending
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.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 75%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words expenditure with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "give" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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