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Writing Samples /
Band 6

The chart below gives information about the UK's ageing population in 1985 and makes predictions for 2035. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

The chart below gives information about the UK's ageing population in 1985 and makes predictions for 2035. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.
#information #uk #population #predictions #features #comparisons
This
 chart presents the data
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on
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of
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on
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 the
amount
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number
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 of
Correct article usage
apply
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The
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apply
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Change noun form
UK
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UK's
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UK
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 people aged
minimum
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a minimum
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 of 65
Correct your spelling
years
yaers
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years
 old.
Overall
,
this
 chart
show
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shows
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 that the percentage of
population
Add an article
the population
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 aged 65 and over in 1985
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
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fluctuated. So does the approximation for 2035. All countries in the
UK's
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UK
show examples
 are predicted to have an
increase
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increased
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 population for
next
Correct article usage
the next
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 50 years. For details, we can see that
citizen
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citizens
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 who
has living
Wrong verb form
live
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for
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apply
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65 years old in Wales is higher
that
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than
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 in any other
contries
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countries
 in the UK which
is
Wrong verb form
was
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 about 15
percent
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per cent
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 in 1985 and
predicted
Add a missing verb
is predicted
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 to increase
until
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to
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 around 25
percent
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per cent
show examples
 in 2035.
In
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On
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 the other side, Northern Ireland is in the lowest part. In 1985, the
omount
Correct your spelling
amount
 of people
agend
Correct your spelling
aged
 65 and over
are
Wrong verb form
was
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 just about 10
percent
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per cent
show examples
 and is going to rise to about 20
percent
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per cent
show examples
 in 2035. Scotland was in
Correct article usage
apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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second place
while
 England
is
Wrong verb form
was
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 in
Correct article usage
apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Correct your spelling
fourth
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forth
Correct your spelling
fourth
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 place, both
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in
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for
Change preposition
in
show examples
 1985 and 2035.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words percent with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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