IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Your local newspaper published an advertisement asking people to offer time for local environmental initiatives in your area. Write a letter to the project manager to offer your help. In your letter: Describe a local volunteer project that you are passionate about Explain what you would like to do to help Suggest how to gather more support for the cause

#newspaper #advertisement #people #offer #time #initiatives #area #project #manager #volunteer #support
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Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing
this
 letter regarding
Correct article usage
the
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Correct article usage
the
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help that I want to offer. I have seen an advertisement about local environmental initiatives and I would like to offer my time on
this
 activity. I always take care of the environment and know many things that can help me with small projects. Because of my interest and knowledge in planting trees, the benefits of not cutting trees and using recycled materials can help me
to
Verb problem
apply
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encourage people to do the same things in their lives. I want to spread a message that I mentioned above which will motivate society to become environmentally friendly. To spread
this
 message, we can use social media where we
Add a missing verb
are
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aware person about nature's love, even we can make a team and together do a campaign with the slogan " SAVE NATURE, THE NATURE WILL SAVE YOU". Thank you for reading the letter and looking forward to hearing from you. Yours Faithfully, Ankit
Submitted by ap064911 on

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coherence cohesion
The logical structure can be improved by ensuring each paragraph has a single, clear idea. For example, separate the description of your passion for the environment and your specific suggestions for action into different paragraphs.
task achievement
To fully achieve the task, include more details about the specific activities you are willing to undertake and how your skills and experience make you suited for these tasks.
coherence cohesion
The closing of the letter is appropriate and polite, which contributes to the formal tone required for this type of writing.
task achievement
The tone of the letter is suitable and shows a clear willingness to contribute, which aligns well with the task requirements.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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