IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

TOPIC – Some think that residents should responsible for keeping thier areas clean and tidy, while others say it is the government’s responsibility. Discuss both views and state your own opinion.

#topic #think #residents #thier #areas #government’s #responsibility
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Environmental hygiene is a very key aspect of our lives. Ways to handle
this
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 generated concerns. A group of
people
 opine inhabitants of a vicinity should be responsible for cleaning their area whilst others suggest
such
 tasks should be dealt with by the governing body of the nation.
This
 essay seeks to look at both views. My opinion
however
Add the comma(s)
, however
show examples
, is that residents should be the ones to keep their surroundings clean.
To begin
 with, the governing authorities of most countries have lots of more pressing responsibilities to see to and should not have to be burdened with very basic duties
as
Correct quantifier usage
such as
show examples
 environmental cleanliness. To illustrate
this
, one newspaper publication in the UK
times
Capitalize word
Times
show examples
 revealed that, in countries where the leaders are exempted from being involved in simple tasks
as
Correct quantifier usage
such as
show examples
 ensuring environmental hygiene, there are very effective running of their systems as the governing bodies save funds which would have been
channeled
Change the spelling
channelled
show examples
 to solve
such
 problems to more
signicant
Correct your spelling
significant
 ones as education and health. It is obvious from
this
 that
such
 steps are better. Meanwhile, when
neighbours
 are made to tidy their environment, there
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 improved relationships among
people
. Studies have shown that
people
 have very busy lifestyles and
this
 has a negative impact on their relationship with their
neighbours
.
Hence
, organizing cleaning sessions in neighbourhoods
promote
Correct subject-verb agreement
promotes
show examples
 bonding amongst
neighbours
. The resultant effect of
this
 is
strenghtened
Correct your spelling
strengthened
 relationships among
people
 in a
surburb
Correct your spelling
suburb
 to allow for
people
looking
Change the verb form
to look
show examples
 out for one another in a vicinity. I am of the opinion limiting neighbourhood cleanliness to the
inhibitants
Correct your spelling
inhabitants
 is an effective way to promote environmental hygiene as
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
 will be encouraged to clear a dirty neighbourhood. In conclusion, there are varied ways to clean our
environments
Fix the agreement mistake
environment
show examples
, putting
neighbours
 in charge of
this
 in my opinion is a very efficient way to achieve
this
 task.
Submitted by nmaureen03 on

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task response
Ensure all points and examples directly support your main argument without deviating from the topic.
coherence cohesion
Improve paragraph transitions and ensure all points flow logically from one to the next.
task response
Avoid minor language errors such as spelling mistakes ('strengthened' and 'inhabitants') to increase clarity.
task response
Make sure each main point is thoroughly explained and backed with detailed examples.
task response
You've effectively addressed both views and stated your own opinion clearly.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body, and conclusion.
task response
The examples provided, such as the newspaper publication in the UK, are relevant to your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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