Do you think businesses should hire employees who will spend their entire lives working for the company? Explain why you agree or disagree. Use specific reasons and details to support your answer.

#businesses #employees #lives #company #support

Nowadays, businesses

are tending

Wrong verb form

tend

show examples

to hire

employees

who will

spends

Change the verb form

spend

show examples

their entire lives working for the

company

This

essay disagrees with the suggestion completely because it might be unfair

for

Change preposition

show examples

the

employees

. There are two main reasons why businesses should not employ individuals to live their whole life working for the

company

and why I disagree with

this

viewpoint. One of them is that the

company

will be constrained with the same

employees

and will not be able to find a qualified workforce.

For instance

, when the

company

train

Fix the agreement mistake

trains

show examples

work

Correct subject-verb agreement

works

show examples

with different mindsets they may end up with individuals with incredible skills which may raise the

company

’s reputation. Another cogent reason for

this

is giving new people the chance to

work

every period will let the group team gain experiences with new individuals by learning from their experiences and their skills. I personally believe that

this

issue is relatively significant for several reasons, the main one being the potential for corruption scandals it can create.

This

issue may cause

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

unemployment.

This

is particularly undesirable because

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

unemployment is increasing nowadays.

For example

, In

Kuwait

Add a comma

Kuwait,

show examples

the engineers are suffering because there is no job to apply for and

this

is because the companies

which

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

requires

Change the verb form

require

show examples

their

employees

work

with them forever. In conclusion, the fact that

business

Fix the agreement mistake

businesses

show examples

should not hire

employees

who will spend their entire lives working for the

company

shows that everyone should get the chance to

proof

Replace the word

prove

show examples

themselves and their skills in their jobs.

Therefore

, I totally disagree with letting people

work

for the

company

for the rest of their lives because

this

is a harmful trend which may lead to corruption.

Submitted by hsmmalmutairi on Mon Jun 24 2024

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coherence cohesion

Ensure that your introduction clearly states your position and outlines the main points you will discuss in the essay. Right now, the introduction is a bit brief and could be more specific.

coherence cohesion

Try to improve the logical flow of your paragraphs. Make sure each paragraph discusses only one main point and that this point is clearly stated at the beginning of the paragraph with subsequent sentences supporting it.

coherence cohesion

Ensure your conclusion effectively summarizes the main points discussed and reiterates your position clearly.

task achievement

Provide more specific examples to support your points. This will strengthen your argument and make your essay more persuasive.

task achievement

Avoid generalizations and be precise in your arguments. This will help in presenting clear and comprehensive ideas.

task achievement

You have a clear position in your essay and provide reasons to support your viewpoint.

coherence cohesion

You have a structured approach with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which aids in understanding your argument.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

277 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

6.5

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

6.5

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Do you think businesses should hire employees who will spend their entire lives working for the company? Explain why you agree or disagree. Use specific reasons and details to support your answer.

Your opinion

Art classes, such as paintings and drawing, are as important to a child's developments as other subjects, so it should be compulsory in high schools. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done about this topic?

In some cities, there are few controls over the design and construction of new homes and office buildings, so people can build in whatever style they like. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people believe that the government should spend money to create more art such as paintings and statues in cities to make them a better place to live to what extent do you agree or disagree?