Many people today are choosing to travel to other countries. Why is that happening? Is this a positive or negative development?

#people #travel #countries #development

Nowadays most

citizens

are interested in itineraries

into

Change preposition

show examples

other nations. The reason behind

this

is most

people

are educated and they are keen to know about another country’s culture and some others are ready to work in another

nation

. These trends will give a positive development.

To begin

due to

the development of technology most

people

become literate and they have more keen and enthusiastically anticipate knowing about foreign cultures and lifestyles.

Hence

citizens

start to

travel

abroad and

this

trend will soar in future.

In addition

, few

citizens

are travelling to abroad find jobs, because their

nation

is economically not well and heavy job competition, these factors are stimulating them to move to another

nation

to fulfil their anticipations.

Additionally

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

flight costs are more affordable at present times,

thus

people

want to

travel

neighboring

Change the spelling

neighbouring

show examples

countries

for vacation purposes. To illustrate, Thailand, Malaysia and some other

countries

are allowing tourists without visas,

thus

, their country’s

tourists

Change the noun form

tourist

show examples

income has started to soar from

last

year.

Furthermore

, increasing the number of

citizens

travel

another

nation

will give a good result. Because

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

people

start to

travel

adequately to

countries

their own nations economies shall be able to develop. Whilst,

people

will get a new experience and know about the

neighbor

Change the spelling

neighbour

show examples

country culture.

In addition

tourism

Add an article

the tourism

show examples

sector can

possible

Change the word

possibly

show examples

Fix the infinitive

apply

show examples

develop in all

countries

and

this

will give a

well

Correct word choice

good

show examples

economic profit.

To conclude

, soaring of

people

starting to

travel

to another country has become a good beneficial. Simultaneously,

this

can reduce unemployment and broaden human knowledge.

Submitted by smsundaram57 on Mon Jun 24 2024

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coherence cohesion

Strengthen your topic sentences to ensure each paragraph clearly communicates your main point. This will help improve the logical structure of your essay.

task achievement

Try to integrate more varied and developed examples to enhance your arguments. This will improve the support for your main points.

coherence cohesion

Ensure your conclusion not only restates the main points but also synthesizes them to give a deeper understanding of the essay’s argument.

coherence cohesion

You have provided a clear introduction and conclusion, which introduces and summarizes your points effectively.

task achievement

The essay addresses the prompt directly and comprehensively, covering both parts of the question.

task achievement

Your language use and sentence structures are varied, which helps maintain reader interest.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

256 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

6.5

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Advancements in transportation
Cultural curiosity
Economic reasons
Globalization
Educational opportunities
Digital nomadism
Healthcare tourism
Tourism industry growth
Personal development
Interconnectedness
Higher living standards
Remote work
Broaden their horizons
Affordable travel
Medical treatments
Global perspective
Air travel options
Cuisines
Lifestyles
Job opportunities

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Many people today are choosing to travel to other countries. Why is that happening? Is this a positive or negative development?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Art classes, such as painting and drawing, are as important to a child's development as other subjects, so it should be compulsory in high schools. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Leaders and directors in an organisation are normally older people. Some people think a younger leader would be better. Do you agree or disagree?

In some countries university students live at home with their family while they study, whereas in other countries students attend university in another city. Do you think the benefits of living away from home during university outweigh the disadvantages?

An increasing number of people are choosing to have cosmetic surgery in order to improve their appearance. Why are more people choosing to have operation to change the way they look? Do you think this a positive or negative development?

some people think pollution and damage of environment are resulted from a country developing and becoming richer, and this is hard to be avoided. To what extent do you agree or disagree.