IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Government should spend money on railway rather than roads .. to what extent do you agree or disagree ?

#government #money #railway #roads
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The government needs to consider
reailways
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railways
emprovments
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improvements
improvement
 over the roads as the
transportaion
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transportation
 system is
essantial
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essential
 for any city .
This
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 essay
astrongly
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strongly
agree
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agrees
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 with
this
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statment
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statement
.
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Becuse
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Because
this
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 helps to reduce the number of
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cars accident
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car accidents
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 as well helping people
manging
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managing
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 their
time
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 more
sufficentily
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sufficiently
.
lets
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let's
let us
show examples
 look
to
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into
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details
Correct article usage
the details
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. On
one
Correct article usage
the one
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 hand ,
speending
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spending
 more on the railway
transporting
Wrong verb form
transport
show examples
 system means it will become more convinince for
indviduals
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individuals
 to use which lead to reduce the number of
cars
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user
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used
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.. that means
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the risks
show examples
risks
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risk
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 of
cars
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 accident would would go
becuse
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 majorty of
pepole
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people
 would use the trains
insted
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instead
 .
for example
Linking Words
 in countres where the train system is operating perfectly like China , the
cars
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 crashs are less. On another hand,offering more
financal hepls
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financial help
 to
mentain
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maintain
the railways , means that
trains
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train
show examples
journes
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journeys
journey
 would become
batter
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better
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 in
team
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a team
the team
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 of
time
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managment
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management
and more
poople
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people
 would rely on them to transport
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because
becuse
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 they won`t be late means people can arrive on
time
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 for their work our other
commetments
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commitments
.
for instance
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 ,
copmanies
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companies
in Italy recorded more work
achivement
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achievement
 among their employees
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becuse
Correct your spelling
because
 they are more
confortable
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comfortable
 to
ransport
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transport
 over the train rather than use their own
cars
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 so they can get on
time
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 for work . In conclusion ,In my opinion , the
outhoritis
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authorities
 should think about increasing the
badget
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budget
 for railways
mentanins
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maintains
mountains
 over the roads , as it can
afectively
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effectively
affectively
braing
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bring
 the
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cars
Change noun form
car's
cars'
show examples
 accidents
down
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and
show examples
also
Linking Words
 it can contribute
towerd
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toward
time
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managment
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management
issue
Fix the agreement mistake
issues
show examples
 during pick Hourse .
Submitted by hebadyala on

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coherence cohesion
Work more on the logical structuring of your essay. Try to make the flow of ideas smoother and clearer. Each paragraph should have a clear main point that is well-supported by explanations and examples.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to grammatical accuracy and spelling. Incorrect grammar and spelling can distract the reader and affect the overall coherence of your essay.
task achievement
Your essay addresses the prompt completely, which is crucial for a high task achievement score.
task achievement
You provided relevant examples that support your arguments, making your points clearer and more believable.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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