More and more people want to buy clothes, cars and other items from famous brands. What are the reasons? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?
People
’s obsession on
brands has Change preposition
with
been
increased more in recent times, Unnecessary verb
apply
Majority
of Correct article usage
The Majority
people
want to buy branded items
such
as clothes, cars and other items
to fulfil their desires, I believe, it is a negative development on
society as it could increase the financial burden and affect our Change preposition
in
environment
in negative ways.
Observing others owning luxury materialistic things can put a
negative pressure on those who fail to Remove the article
apply
afford
. Correct pronoun usage
afford them
This
means, for
those Change preposition
that
middle class
and Add a hyphen
middle-class
low class
individuals who live in Add a hyphen
low-class
rented
Add an article
a rented
house
and only have a basic salary to only buy basic Fix the agreement mistake
houses
items
like food, clothing, water
Correct word choice
and water
such
people
, can possibly develop desires
to buy the same Fix the agreement mistake
desire
stuffs
which other rich Change the wording
stuff
kinds of stuff
pieces of stuff
people
can easily afford. In
Change preposition
As
result
, Correct article usage
a result
this
can easily put financial
burden on them which could affect their Add an article
a financial
the financial
overall
health. For instance
, my friend Atul who works in a corporate office, earns only 2000$ per month but, wishes to own a car having
worth 40000$ Unnecessary verb
apply
for
just because his colleague has bought it. Change preposition
apply
Therefore
, the race of owning branded items
by affluent folks negatively influences normal basic pay people
resulting in financial debt and mental pressure if failed to pay the asked price.
On the other hand
, the production of branded clothing and other items
damages our environment
. This
is to say, the consumption of branded items
leads to its over manufacture by companies for its
consumers, which Correct pronoun usage
their
in
Change preposition
as
result
accumulates more in number on our Correct article usage
a result
environment
as it doesn’t decompose easily. For example
, the
clothing brand like H and M produces more than a million clothes in a year for its customers, in Correct article usage
apply
which
all products are not bought by Correct pronoun usage
apply
people
so the remaining ones are tried to burn which pollutes our environment
. Therefore
, greater use of branded items
has an
negative impact on our nature too.
In conclusion, the use of branded Change the article
a
items
definitely has a negative development on our health and environment
both
, so measures to effectively reduce its consumption and production should be implemented.Correct pronoun usage
apply
Submitted by piratijaiswal1992 on
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Grammar
Work on sentence structure and grammar. Ensure the sentences are clear and concise to avoid misunderstandings.
Development
Expand on your points a bit more and provide more specific examples where needed. This will make your argument stronger.
Coherence
Paragraphs should be logically sequenced and ideas should flow smoothly from one to the next.
Structure
Ensure your introduction and conclusion are strong by summarizing the main points. This helps in guiding the reader through your essay easily.
Task Achievement
The essay addresses the topic well by discussing both the reasons and the impact of buying branded items.
Structure
The introduction and conclusion are present and serve to frame the argument.
Examples
Some examples are relevant and illustrate the points being made, such as the example of your friend Atul.