IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

You work for an international company, and would like to spend six months working in its head office in another country. Write a letter to your manager. In your letter - explain why you want to work in the company's head office for six months - say how your work could be done while you are away - ask for his/her help in arranging it

#work #company #six #months #head #office #country #manager
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Dear Mr. Jackson, I am writing
this
Linking Words
 letter to request that you
can
Verb problem
apply
show examples
aid me
to adjust
Change preposition
in adjusting
show examples
 my
work
Use synonyms
 position as I want to
work
Use synonyms
 in other nations. First of all, one of the main reasons why l want to
work
Use synonyms
 in the company's head
office
Use synonyms
 is that my daily routine is all messed up these days
due to
Linking Words
 my colleagues'
work
Use synonyms
 pressure in my
office
Use synonyms
. At the same time, I believe that l can't keep a good earning condition under
such
Linking Words
as
Correct your spelling
an
show examples
 environment, which means may
effects
Verb problem
affect
show examples
 my working efficiency
cause
Correct word choice
and cause
show examples
 the business benefit.
Therefore
Linking Words
, I hope to go to
company's
Correct article usage
the company's
show examples
 head
office
Use synonyms
 to express my professional working ability
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and learn more useful knowledge.
Moreover
Linking Words
, I would be greatly grateful if you could agree
my
Change preposition
to my
show examples
 request. Meanwhile, I would arrange
an
Change preposition
for an
show examples
office
Use synonyms
 friend to take my place for the next six months. She has extremely technical working ability and is familiar with the
work
Use synonyms
 content of my station. So I think
this
Linking Words
 is
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 right choice.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, I would appreciate
if
Correct pronoun usage
it if
show examples
 you could send me some details on another job
targets
Wrong verb form
targeting
show examples
 the business's hand
office
Use synonyms
.
Finally
Linking Words
, I am looking forward
from
Change preposition
to from
show examples
 hearing you, and if you need any
further
Linking Words
 information, please do not hesitate to contact me, as l am pleased to supply. Yours faithfully, Neha
Submitted by cyh000823 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Try to avoid repetition and be clear about your reasons in the first instance. For example, clarify why exactly you want to work in the head office—mention learning opportunities and professional growth straight away.
coherence cohesion
Make sure each paragraph clearly addresses a single idea to improve the logical structure. For example, dedicate one paragraph to the reasons, another to how the work will be managed in your absence, and a third to requesting assistance.
task achievement
The letter appropriately requests assistance, explains the reasons, and outlines how the work will be managed in your absence.
coherence cohesion
The use of greeting and closing is polite and appropriate for a formal letter.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • professional advancement
  • cross-cultural collaboration
  • headquarters/ head office
  • global perspective
  • remote work
  • temporary assignment
  • team dynamics
  • networking opportunities
  • cultural immersion
  • succession planning
  • collaborative tools
  • time zone coordination
  • corporate hierarchy
  • relocation logistics
  • work-life balance
  • multinational environment
What to do next:
Look at other essays: