IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

You work for an international company, and would like to spend six months working in its head office in another country. Write a letter to your manager. In your letter - explain why you want to work in the company's head office for six months - say how your work could be done while you are away - ask for his/her help in arranging it

#work #company #six #months #head #office #country #manager
Dear Mr. Jackson, I am writing
this
 letter to request that you
can
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apply
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aid me
to adjust
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in adjusting
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 my
work
 position as I want to
work
 in other nations. First of all, one of the main reasons why l want to
work
 in the company's head
office
 is that my daily routine is all messed up these days
due to
 my colleagues'
work
 pressure in my
office
. At the same time, I believe that l can't keep a good earning condition under
such
as
Correct your spelling
an
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 environment, which means may
effects
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affect
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 my working efficiency
cause
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and cause
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 the business benefit.
Therefore
, I hope to go to
company's
Correct article usage
the company's
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 head
office
 to express my professional working ability
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and learn more useful knowledge.
Moreover
, I would be greatly grateful if you could agree
my
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to my
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 request. Meanwhile, I would arrange
an
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for an
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office
 friend to take my place for the next six months. She has extremely technical working ability and is familiar with the
work
 content of my station. So I think
this
 is
a
Correct article usage
the
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 right choice.
Furthermore
, I would appreciate
if
Correct pronoun usage
it if
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 you could send me some details on another job
targets
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targeting
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 the business's hand
office
.
Finally
, I am looking forward
from
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to from
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 hearing you, and if you need any
further
 information, please do not hesitate to contact me, as l am pleased to supply. Yours faithfully, Neha
Submitted by cyh000823 on

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task achievement
Try to avoid repetition and be clear about your reasons in the first instance. For example, clarify why exactly you want to work in the head office—mention learning opportunities and professional growth straight away.
coherence cohesion
Make sure each paragraph clearly addresses a single idea to improve the logical structure. For example, dedicate one paragraph to the reasons, another to how the work will be managed in your absence, and a third to requesting assistance.
task achievement
The letter appropriately requests assistance, explains the reasons, and outlines how the work will be managed in your absence.
coherence cohesion
The use of greeting and closing is polite and appropriate for a formal letter.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • professional advancement
  • cross-cultural collaboration
  • headquarters/ head office
  • global perspective
  • remote work
  • temporary assignment
  • team dynamics
  • networking opportunities
  • cultural immersion
  • succession planning
  • collaborative tools
  • time zone coordination
  • corporate hierarchy
  • relocation logistics
  • work-life balance
  • multinational environment
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