In many countries people are now living longer than even before. Some people say that an aging population creates problems of governments. Other people think that there are benefits of society has more elderly people. To what extent do the advantages of having in ageing population outweigh the advantages.
Over the
last
few years, in ageing population
is
increasing in many countries Wrong verb form
has been
that
is causing Correct pronoun usage
which
for
problems Change preposition
apply
in
nowadays.Change preposition
apply
Although
there are several advantages of overcrowding adults
, it can have some disadvantages as well.
On the one hand, there are several benefits of growth
ageing Correct your spelling
a growing
population
. The first merit of it is considered to be that adults
may be good example
for our children.Fix the agreement mistake
examples
For instance
,they take care of them all of the when we went
to work or others.Sometimes we Wrong verb form
go
saw
the old people at the offices,they are teaching the younger workers Wrong verb form
see
for working
better than themselves.Another positive aspect is thought to be that elderly Change preposition
to work
person
can show Fix the agreement mistake
people
that
which ideas are useful or not useful because they have perennially experiences.Correct determiner usage
apply
That is
because living is so harder than present they lived in exact period.
On the other hand
, despite mentioned
Correct article usage
the mentioned
positives
there are several drawbacks of increasing the Add a comma
positives,
number of
ageing Correct quantifier usage
apply
population
.One of the major disadvantages of it is that growth
of Correct article usage
the growth
adults
create
problems for governments,as some of them are working Correct subject-verb agreement
creates
at
Change preposition
in
own
Correct pronoun usage
their own
field
Fix the agreement mistake
fields
therefore
young can't find an
employment.Remove the article
apply
For example
, they work and get the
own pension too.Another important demerit is that Change the word
their
adults
Correct your spelling
may be
maybe
thrust on usCorrect your spelling
may be
,
because they can't control themselves Remove the comma
apply
as a consequence
elderly people don't allow Correct word choice
apply
that
Correct word choice
apply
we
can remain Correct pronoun usage
us
Correct article usage
apply
the
freely because they will be ponderous when they are not getting any younger.
In conclusion,Correct article usage
apply
while
an ageing population
can offer several positives, there may be some drawbacks too.From my personal point of view,advantages
of Correct article usage
the advantages
this
will outweigh the disadvantages.Submitted by soglomovsarvar on
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grammar
There are grammatical errors that affect clarity. It would be beneficial to review subject-verb agreement, use of articles, and sentence structure. Proofreading and practicing grammar exercises would help.
content
Some arguments can be elaborated further with more details and specific examples to strengthen your position. Expanding on the points would provide richer content and enhance the essay's persuasive power.
coherence
Improve the flow by using linking words and phrases effectively. This will help create smoother transitions between ideas and paragraphs, making your essay more cohesive.
structure
Revise introduction and conclusion to make them more impactful. The introduction should clearly outline the main arguments, while the conclusion should succinctly summarize the key points and reaffirm your stance.
structure
The essay provides a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which is essential for coherence and cohesion.
content
You have addressed both the advantages and disadvantages of an ageing population, showing a balanced approach to the topic.