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Band 5.5

Innovation is often driven by the pursuit of profit and economic growth. However, some argue that it should prioritize addressing social and environmental issues. Discuss both views and your opinion.

#innovation #pursuit #profit #growth #argue #prioritize
Controversy still exists that
innovation
 is a driving force of
profit
 and economic growth,
whereas
 others reckon that addressing social and environmental problems should be the first priority. From my perspective, a
balance
Change the verb form
balanced
show examples
 approach should be achieved. On the one hand, the pursuit of
profit
 and economic growth has been historically considered a paramount instrument to boost
innovation
.
In other words
,
companies
 have to invest in research,
labors
Fix the agreement mistake
labor
show examples
, and technological
developements
Correct your spelling
developments
 to improve and create new products, generating revenues for
companies
. Through
this
 process, the
profit
 motive can create job opportunities for citizens,
while
 enhancing efficiency and
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
better consumer experiences towards the products.
Therefore
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
innovation
 can
contributes
Change the verb form
contribute
show examples
 to a better quality of life
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the general public through the jobs and advanced products offered in the market.
On the other hand
, tackling social and environmental issues could not be ignored by both public and private sectors.
Although
 the government plays a key role in addressing the mentioned issues by implementing policies regarding those problems, the private
companies
, as the social and environment-related problem
creaters
Correct your spelling
creators
, have an obligation to comply with those regulations to demonstrate their
responsibitity
Correct your spelling
responsibility
 towards
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society.
For instance
, a policy regarding carbon emission in the
Replace the word
manufacturing
show examples
manufactural
Replace the word
manufacturing
show examples
 and
innovation
 process shall be strictly enforced in factories.
Thus
, by integrating these aspects, entities can achieve long-term sustainability and contribute meaningfully to society. In conclusion,
innovation
 plays a critical role in economic growth and
profit
, benefiting
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
companies
 and general citizens as it contributes to a greater amount of income and
overall
 economic prosperity;
however
, the social and environmental effects
could not
Wrong verb form
cannot
show examples
 be abandoned by
companies
. In my opinion, a
balance
Change the verb form
balanced
show examples
 approach
shall
Verb problem
should
show examples
 be issued to ensure a long-term benefit in society.
Submitted by kaofangsuknual on

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clarity
Work on ensuring a higher degree of clarity and precision in your sentences. For instance, there are several grammatical errors and awkward phrasings that can lead to confusion. Consider revising sentences like 'companies have to invest in research, labors, and technological developements' to 'companies need to invest in research, labor, and technological developments.'
examples
Try to include more specific examples to substantiate your points. Using detailed and concrete examples can significantly strengthen your argument and make it more persuasive. Instead of mentioning 'a policy regarding carbon emission,' you can refer to a specific existing policy like the Paris Agreement.
grammar
Make sure to thoroughly proofread your essay to correct spelling and grammatical mistakes. This will enhance the readability and professionalism of your writing. For instance, 'developements' should be 'developments,' and 'responsibitity' should be 'responsibility.'
task response
The essay effectively discusses both viewpoints and provides a balanced opinion, which addresses the task effectively.
coherence
The use of cohesive devices and linking words is impressive, which helps in maintaining a logical flow throughout the essay.
structure
The introduction and conclusion are clear and well-structured, providing a strong frame for the essay.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • pursuit of profit
  • economic growth
  • technological advancements
  • efficiency
  • consumer experiences
  • job creation
  • standard of living
  • sustainability
  • global challenges
  • renewable energy technologies
  • climate change
  • quality of life
  • healthcare
  • education
  • infrastructure
  • underserved populations
  • socio-economic groups
  • balanced approach
  • social and environmental impacts
  • long-term sustainability
  • socially and environmentally responsible products
  • consumer preference
  • societal goals
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