In many schools, sports lessons are part of the timetable, because it is important for both boys and girls to participate in sports. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#schools #sports #lessons #part #timetable #boys #girls

All

Change preposition

In all

show examples

school

Fix the agreement mistake

schools

show examples

Change preposition

apply

show examples

nowadays, There are physical

activities

in their timetable it is significant for

children

to support kids

has

Correct subject-verb agreement

have

show examples

more discipline in future life. I completely agree with

this

statement

should have

Verb problem

that

show examples

sport lesson

Fix the agreement mistake

sports lessons

show examples

are

Wrong verb form

should be

show examples

part of

timetable

Add an article

the timetable

show examples

Correct pronoun usage

which i

show examples

Change the capitalization

show examples

will

explains

Change the verb form

explain

show examples

this

essay. First of all, in the new era ,

although

many

children

are spending time on academic studies, they still play video games .

This

is less

benifice

Correct your spelling

beneficial

to their health.

For instance

, the survey

according to

that

Correct determiner usage

apply

show examples

80 per cent of

children

who are not involved in

sports

activities

face health

such

as eye

short

Correct word choice

overweight

show examples

and gaining weight

due to

they

Correct pronoun usage

their

show examples

being no physical movement.

Therefore

, I think that schools should

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

teach students about

sport

Change the noun form

sports

show examples

activities

Secondly

sports

games don't only help people in physical health ,but

sports

can help them in team reading,team spirit and self-confidence that help them grow up.

For example

children

can learn how to help each other and how to understand each other when they are playing

sports

Besides

this

would make to encourage the winner even if you are on the losing side.Researchers said that 95 percent of students who play

sports

will be easygoing people and they are successful in their lives.

Thus

,I think that

sports

lessons can develop

children

to the sociable that

why

Add a missing verb

is why

show examples

many schools must have lessons in

sports

games. In Conclusion, I completely agree that

sports

lessons are to be part of the school timetable which helps in learning many positives of life, team spirit and build self-confidence for the students.

However

, the government must support education about physical

activities

sports

teams because

sports

teams can help

children

live in the community and

grown

Wrong verb form

grow

show examples

up to be stronger

adult

Fix the agreement mistake

adults

show examples

Submitted by viewsoysoongnern on Tue Jun 25 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion

Your essay needs a clearer introduction. Ensure that the introductory paragraph briefly outlines your main points and sets the stage for your argument.

coherence cohesion

Work on organizing your paragraphs more logically. Each paragraph should revolve around a single main idea and flow smoothly into the next.

task achievement

Add more specific examples to support your points. This will make your argument stronger and more persuasive.

task achievement

Enhance the clarity of your ideas by avoiding grammatical errors and improving sentence structure. This will help make your arguments more understandable.

task achievement

Your essay addresses the prompt and provides a clear stance on the issue.

coherence cohesion

Your conclusion effectively summarizes your main points and reinforces your stance on the topic.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
20Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

286 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

Topic Vocabulary:

Physical health and fitness
Life skills
Teamwork
Cooperation
Academic studies
Interest
Ability
Resources
Stress
Competition

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5
band
Some people believe that non-academic subjects at school should be removed from the syllabus so that children can concentrate wholly on academic subjects. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
According to some people, art and music classes should be replaced by more utilitarian subjects like science and computer classes. While I understand the importance of equipping children with skills that are immediately applicable in their lives, I firmly believe that music education holds significant value and should not be discarded.
7
band
Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion
One of the social concerns today relates to governmental problems. While it is widely believed that focusing on economic progress is the most important goal, others believe that other types are as important as the economy of a country.
4.5
band
Children are having some problems at school and home. What are the causes and how can the parents do to help them?
Children are the backbone of every nation. They are facing some troubles at an educational institution and at home due to learning plenty of subjects, hectic timetables and chores. However, the parents should support and guide their little buds to manage all these. This essay discusses briefly for the following reasons.
4
band
Smoking should be banned in all public places even though it would restrict some of other people’s freedoms. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.
It's known fact that smoking is one of the most dangerous addiction in the world. Some human beings believe that smoking shoulde be prohabited in public areas , others believe that not because it harms for self independence. In this essay i will totally with this sitation to banning smoking in public places because it is essentinal for well-being of human beings.
6.5
band
Social media is becoming increasingly popular amongst all age groups. However, sharing personal information on social media websites does have risks. Do you think that the advantages of social media outweigh the disadvantages?
Modern lifestyle has changed drastically over the last twenty years as a result of the extreme popularity of social networks. Though sharing personal photos and videos is great fun, it can be quite dangerous as well. Despite the serious drawbacks of using social media, in my ,opinion there are much more benefits.

In many schools, sports lessons are part of the timetable, because it is important for both boys and girls to participate in sports. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some people believe that non-academic subjects at school should be removed from the syllabus so that children can concentrate wholly on academic subjects. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

Children are having some problems at school and home. What are the causes and how can the parents do to help them?

Smoking should be banned in all public places even though it would restrict some of other people’s freedoms. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

Social media is becoming increasingly popular amongst all age groups. However, sharing personal information on social media websites does have risks. Do you think that the advantages of social media outweigh the disadvantages?