In many schools, sports lessons are part of the timetable, because it is important for both boys and girls to participate in sports. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?
All
Change preposition
In all
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
in
nowadays, There are physical Change preposition
apply
activities
in their timetable it is significant for children
to support kids has
more discipline in future life. I completely agree with Correct subject-verb agreement
have
this
statement should have
Verb problem
that
sport lesson
Fix the agreement mistake
sports lessons
are
part of Wrong verb form
should be
timetable
,Add an article
the timetable
Correct pronoun usage
which i
i
will Change the capitalization
I
explains
in Change the verb form
explain
this
essay.
First of all, in the new era , although
many children
are spending time on academic studies, they still play video games . This
is less benifice
to their health. Correct your spelling
beneficial
For instance
, the survey according to
that
80 per cent of Correct determiner usage
apply
children
who are not involved in sports
activities
face health such
as eye short
and gaining weight Correct word choice
overweight
due to
they
being no physical movement.Correct pronoun usage
their
Therefore
, I think that schools should be
teach students about Unnecessary verb
apply
sport
Change the noun form
sports
activities
.
Secondly
, sports
games don't only help people in physical health ,but sports
can help them in team reading,team spirit and self-confidence that help them grow up. For example
, children
can learn how to help each other and how to understand each other when they are playing sports
.Besides
, this
would make to encourage the winner even if you are on the losing side.Researchers said that 95 percent of students who play sports
will be easygoing people and they are successful in their lives. Thus
,I think that sports
lessons can develop children
to the sociable that why
many schools must have lessons in Add a missing verb
is why
sports
games.
In Conclusion, I completely agree that sports
lessons are to be part of the school timetable which helps in learning many positives of life, team spirit and build self-confidence for the students. However
, the government must support education about physical activities
like sports
teams because sports
teams can help children
live in the community and grown
up to be stronger Wrong verb form
grow
adult
.Fix the agreement mistake
adults
Submitted by viewsoysoongnern on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
coherence cohesion
Your essay needs a clearer introduction. Ensure that the introductory paragraph briefly outlines your main points and sets the stage for your argument.
coherence cohesion
Work on organizing your paragraphs more logically. Each paragraph should revolve around a single main idea and flow smoothly into the next.
task achievement
Add more specific examples to support your points. This will make your argument stronger and more persuasive.
task achievement
Enhance the clarity of your ideas by avoiding grammatical errors and improving sentence structure. This will help make your arguments more understandable.
task achievement
Your essay addresses the prompt and provides a clear stance on the issue.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your main points and reinforces your stance on the topic.