In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?
In the past few centuries, mass migration
was
occurred Verb problem
has
due to
various natural phenomena. While
it’s undeniable that industrialization have
significantly contributed to Change the verb form
has
create
production hotspots Change the verb form
creating
that
more Correct pronoun usage
apply
people
have started to live surrounding
areas; Change preposition
in surrounding
later
developed into cities. Correct pronoun usage
which later
This
essay will argue that decline
of inhabitants is obstructive to rural areas.
Correct article usage
the decline
However
, to view this
shift solely through the lens of Correct article usage
a persons’
persons’
lifeChange noun form
person’s
,
would have given Remove the comma
apply
justifiable
reason. Generally, Correct article usage
a justifiable
current
economic climate has driven Add an article
the current
people
to look for higher pay check
Correct your spelling
paycheck
for enhancing
their lifestyle, Change preposition
to enhance
whereas
these places are
lack of right opportunities and it triggered these Unnecessary verb
apply
people
to move from their habitats to urban settings: Beijing in China, Mumbai in India, and New York in USA
.
For nearly a century, Correct article usage
the USA
this
movement has deserted some parts of the country that eventually become dead zones. Despite the above reasons, these are most
important part of that nation, where farming and Correct article usage
the most
live stocks
are Correct your spelling
livestock
maintaining
. Even if Wrong verb form
maintained
economical
activities become booming at the metro, these agricultural lands have become barren with declining human capital. Meanwhile, Replace the word
economic
people
who moved into cities reluctant
to return Add a missing verb
were reluctant
their
birth places, which Change preposition
to their
mitigate
the development of those lands. Correct subject-verb agreement
mitigates
In other words
, less
Change the quantifier
fewer
people
mean lack
Correct article usage
a lack
infrastructure
and economic development Change preposition
of infrastructure
further
fuel
the mass departure from these areas.
All things Correct subject-verb agreement
fuels
consider
, humans Change the form of the verb
considered
are possessing
Wrong verb form
possess
evolutionary
tendency to Add an article
an evolutionary
adventures
things when they face challenges. Wrong verb form
adventure
Therefore
, in current
context men and women wanted to move from their Correct article usage
the current
under developed
villages to more developed urbanized Correct your spelling
underdeveloped
neighborhood
. In the long run, Fix the agreement mistake
neighborhoods
downside
of the Correct article usage
the downside
outweigh
the individual success.Correct subject-verb agreement
outweighs
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coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and that ideas flow logically from one to the next. Using transition words more effectively can enhance coherence.
task achievement
Introduce more relevant examples and details to back up your points. Specific details can help make your arguments more persuasive.
task achievement
Work on developing clear and comprehensive ideas. Present your arguments in a well-structured manner, ensuring each point is explained thoroughly.
coherence cohesion
Polish your conclusion to effectively summarize the main points discussed in the essay. A strong conclusion reiterates the main points and provides a clear stance on the given topic.
task achievement
The essay addresses the prompt and provides a stance, considering both the positive and negative aspects of population shifts from rural to urban areas.
task achievement
The essay includes specific city examples such as Beijing, Mumbai, and New York, which helps provide a global context for the discussion.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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