Some people believe that children should be brought up in cities. Others believe that the countryside offers a better environment for children. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #children #cities #countryside #environment

In today's world, the debate surrounding raising children has become a central topic of public discourse. Some people believe that children should be brought up in cities,

while

others

arugue

Correct your spelling

argue

that

countryside

Correct article usage

the countryside

show examples

offers a better environment for children.

While

acknowledging the merits

Change preposition

show examples

both sides, I find myself more inclined towards the former. In support of

this

perspective, my stance is primarily shaped by the logical coherence that cities provide better education.

This

stance is firmly grounded

Change preposition

show examples

the belief that

city

Correct article usage

the city

show examples

has better educational resources. Not only does that city have better educational facilities, but it

also

has experienced and talented teachers. A significant scientific study from Hong Kong University confirmed that the majority of students who pursue higher education are from the city,

further

reinforce

Wrong verb form

reinforcing

show examples

this

view. It is

also

important to consider that , largely because.

Submitted by 994620786 on Tue Jun 25 2024

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introduction conclusion present

You have made a good start by presenting both sides of the argument in your introduction. However, your essay is incomplete and lacks a conclusion, which affects the coherence and cohesion. Make sure to draft a complete essay to avoid this issue.

supported main points

To enhance coherence and cohesion, ensure that your ideas are well-supported and fully developed. Add more detailed explanations and examples to strengthen your argument.

relevant specific examples

You should provide relevant specific examples to make your points stronger and more persuasive. Drawing from personal experiences or widely recognized examples can greatly help.

introduction conclusion present

Your introduction clearly states the issue and your stance, which sets a clear direction for the essay.

logical structure

You have identified the strengths of city life, particularly focusing on educational resources and professional opportunities. This is a solid base to build upon.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

2 paragraphs

139 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

urban upbringing
cultural diversity
serene environment
open-mindedness
adaptability
health and wellbeing
quality education
healthcare facilities
sense of community
independence
creativity
physical and mental wellbeing
social bonds
enrichment
exposure

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Some people believe that children should be brought up in cities. Others believe that the countryside offers a better environment for children. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

many people think that live now is better than in the past. discuss this argument

1. People say that it is a waste of time for high school students to learn literature at school. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Throughout history, male leaders have led us into violence and conflict. If a society is governed by female leaders it will be more peaceful. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?