Nowadays some high-school graduates travel or work for a period of time instead of going directly to study at university. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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In our contemporary era, it is acknowledged that undergraduate students prefer to have a gap year or even years, fulfilling their interests in travelling and gaining personal money, rather than applying directly to
higer
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higher
institutions. In my opinion, positive aspects like improving self-esteem, increasing financial independence and being more socially engaged outweigh disadvantages,
for instance
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, emotionally devastating issues and unforeseen job minimum requirements. In the modern world, fewer students apply to tertiary institutions right after school
graduations
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graduation
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, preferring to travel or work, which
increase
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increases
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siginficant
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significant
pressure on themselves from their parents and guardians.
However
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, it can be marked as a positive trend of thinking and planning towards their future perspectives and career development.
For instance
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, in Kazan, big tech companies are open for unqualified applicants with decent experience and necessary skills to be selected. It allows the new generation to gain money at young ages
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their skills, become more confident individuals and plan their future tourism adventures.
On the other hand
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, some youngsters could be trapped under their emotional decisions, and desire to be wealthier.
For example
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, in Moscow, five students of one public school took a gap year
,
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apply
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and decided to launch their own business. Unfortunately, without having enough experience and financial background, they couldn't realise their plans and their start-up collapsed in a few months.
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, they were unable to find
a
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apply
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well-paid work
due to
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a lack of educational background and required diplomas.
This
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led to devastating emotional and psychological circumstances, forcing young folks to be hospitalized for a couple of months. In conclusion, in the 21st century, we can observe more and more pupils selecting to take some time for themselves
instead
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of pursuing higher education. Despite having some side effects, I do believe that
this
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phenomenon has more positive impacts, fostering practical skills and giving more opportunities for youth to taste real life in action.
Submitted by gainutdin87 on

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spelling
Ensure all words are spelled correctly to avoid minor distractions for the reader. For example, 'higher' instead of 'higer' and 'significant' instead of 'siginficant'.
examples
Try to provide more specific examples and data to strengthen your arguments. Real-life examples should be more detailed and directly relevant to the point being made.
cohesion
Use linking words and phrases more consistently to improve the flow and connection of ideas between sentences and paragraphs.
structure
Well-structured introduction and conclusion that clearly present and summarize the topic and main points.
examples
Good use of specific examples to support the arguments, particularly the example from Kazan.
logical argument
Clear and logical argumentation which successfully addresses both advantages and disadvantages of taking a gap year.
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