The best way to make the road safer is to ask drivers to take a driving test each year. to What extend to you agree or disagree?

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It is argued by
some
Capitalize word
Some
show examples
that driving
tests
have to be required in order to spread safety annually in the transportation field which transports goods. Personally, l strongly disagree with
this
theory and outline possible reasons below. On the one hand, driving
tests
are
being
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
the most significant task in
this
revolutionized world
due to
Change preposition
for
show examples
some
plausable
Correct your spelling
plausible
reasons.
Initially
, the number of drivers is increasing on a daily basis which
depends
Add the preposition
depends on
show examples
carefulness on
road
Correct article usage
the road
show examples
. To tackle
this
,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
can ask for
driving
Add an article
a driving
show examples
licence not only making them focused during
trip
Add an article
the trip
show examples
but
also
forcing them to train professionally. As
a
Change the article
an
show examples
example, Japan is a country which has brought significant attention to its  transport system,
such
as
Correct article usage
the requirment
show examples
requirment
Correct your spelling
requirement
of driving
test
Fix the agreement mistake
tests
show examples
every year, special training every six
monthes
Correct your spelling
months
and age limitations, leading to
distribution
Correct article usage
the distribution
show examples
of safety well enough around  JAPAN. Another importance of
provision
Add an article
the provision
show examples
of yearly driving
tests
yield
Change the verb form
yields
show examples
carefulness
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
drivers on
road
Correct article usage
the road
show examples
, as some drivers forget about rules when they get older and
this
belongs to youth who are quick in terms of making decisions and lack of hearing
elder
Correct your spelling
older
show examples
peopleʼs advice, causing risky trips for a long distance or  emerge to rise accidents during short movements.
Therefore
,
driving
Correct article usage
a driving
show examples
test is a must-do task
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
every person who controls machines.
On the other hand
, despite the aforementioned benefits of driving
tests
, it leads
unnecessary
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to unnecessary
show examples
expenditures on
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
financially. Nowadays, with the help of technological development, transports are the main means of movement from one to another.
This
results
Add the preposition
results in
results from
show examples
unsafety conditions.
Therefore
,
instead
of
implementation
Replace the word
implementing
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
driving
tests
,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
should utilize other methods. Since, driving
tests
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
involved
Wrong verb form
involve
show examples
financial aid by
government
in order to provide special building infrastructure, qualified
staffs
Fix the agreement mistake
staff
show examples
and centralised management. All in all, driving
tests
are
waste
Correct article usage
a waste
show examples
of money. To
adress
Correct your spelling
address
tgis
Correct your spelling
this
issue, modern technologies have to be used to manage cars on their own. As a matter of fact, in developed countries, electronic cars have  been
using
Wrong verb form
used
show examples
since
Change preposition
for
show examples
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
decade, offering
safety
Replace the word
safe
show examples
roads and minimizing the
avarage
Correct your spelling
average
spending on roads. In conclusion,
although
driving
tests
can be essential to bring safer roads, it is far more beneficial
instead
to use clever cars
Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on

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introduction
Your introduction is clear, but it could be strengthened by briefly mentioning the key points you will discuss in your essay.
cohesion
Ensure that paragraphs transition smoothly to maintain the logical flow of ideas. Focus on using cohesive devices effectively.
clarity
Some points need more clarification. For instance, explaining how tests specifically improve driver behaviour could add depth to your argument.
examples
Provide more specific and detailed examples to support your points. For instance, mention how Japan’s regular driving tests have statistically reduced accidents.
language
There are a few language errors (e.g., 'plausable' should be 'plausible'), so please pay attention to these details to enhance clarity and professionalism.
critical thinking
You present a balanced argument and acknowledge both sides of the debate, which demonstrates critical thinking.
conclusion
The conclusion effectively summarises your main points, reinforcing your stance.
structure
Your essay shows a coherent structure overall, with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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