Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctors. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

#people #health #alternative #medicines #treatments #doctors #development

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In the past, patients used to consult doctors about their health issues.

However

Linking Words

, nowadays,

their

Replace the word

there

show examples

is an

incresed

Correct your spelling

increased

increase

shift to

alternative

Use synonyms

medicines over visiting physicians.

While

Linking Words

belive

Correct your spelling

believe

show examples

that some

alternative

Use synonyms

therapies and treatments have benefits, the

risk

Use synonyms

this

Linking Words

growing trend

overweigh

Verb problem

outweighs

show examples

its

benefit

Fix the agreement mistake

benefits

show examples

. In

this

Linking Words

essay, I will provide some of the positive

impact

Change to a plural noun

impacts

show examples

this

Linking Words

development and will support my arguments about the negative

implication

Fix the agreement mistake

implications

show examples

of it. Before all the current advances in

health

Add an article

the health

show examples

system

Fix the agreement mistake

systems

show examples

and treatments, people used

emprical

Correct your spelling

empirical

simple means of treatment

such

Linking Words

as Chinese medicine. In

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

recent decades, people

growingly are

Verb problem

have

show examples

switching

Wrong verb form

switched

show examples

back to

these kind

Change the determiner

this kind

these kinds

show examples

of remedies because it's

natural

Add the comma(s)

natural,

show examples

not synthetic chemicals as they are extracted from plants and herbs,

that

Correct word choice

and

show examples

modern science has proved effective.

Moreover

Linking Words

many evidences

Fix the agreement mistake

much evidence

show examples

about the

effeicacy

Correct your spelling

efficacy

of some

alternative

Use synonyms

treatments

such

Linking Words

as cupping and puncturing

needle

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needles

show examples

, for alleviating muscle and joint pains, has been reported by many

athlets

Correct your spelling

athletes

nowadays.

Furthurmore

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Furthermore

, using

thes

Correct your spelling

these

medicines for mild

disease

Fix the agreement mistake

diseases

show examples

will decrease the burden on the health system and provide

opportunity

Fix the agreement mistake

opportunities

show examples

and resources to treat more complicated cases. Despite the previously mentioned positive impacts, there is a

risk

Use synonyms

of lack of efficacy when it comes to

treat

Change the verb form

treating

show examples

complicated cases.

Patient

Fix the agreement mistake

Patients

show examples

with chronic

sever

Correct your spelling

severe

show examples

disease

Fix the agreement mistake

diseases

show examples

such

Linking Words

as cancer and cardiovascular

diseses

Correct your spelling

diseases

disease

probably will need more accurate effective treatment rather

just

Correct word choice

than just

show examples

using herbal products.

Additionaly

Correct your spelling

Additionally

, large

consume

Replace the word

consumption

show examples

of herbal extracts might lead to overdose and pesticide toxicity which will put high

risk

Use synonyms

on patients

instead

Linking Words

of curing them.

Moreover

Linking Words

lack

Correct article usage

the lack

show examples

of enough clinical studies on these products wouldn't support them getting FDA approval for

these product

Change the determiner

this product

these products

show examples

. In conclusion,

alternative

Use synonyms

remedies

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

might be effective in

unsevere

Correct your spelling

severe

cases and conditions,

however

Linking Words

, their

risk

Use synonyms

Change preposition

show examples

patients with chronic

diseses

Correct your spelling

diseases

disease

should be considered.

Submitted by Lilly on Tue Jun 25 2024

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task achievement

Work on correcting spelling and grammatical errors. This will improve the clarity of your argument.

task achievement

Ensure all arguments are fully developed and supported with relevant examples or evidence. This will help in demonstrating a more comprehensive response.

coherence and cohesion

Enhance logical flow and paragraph transitions to ensure that ideas connect more smoothly. This will make the essay easier to follow.

coherence and cohesion

Add more detailed examples to strengthen your arguments, particularly in the areas discussing the risks of alternative medicine.

coherence and cohesion

The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps in framing your argument.

task achievement

The essay addresses both positive and negative aspects of the topic, which provides a balanced viewpoint.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
38
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

289 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

alternative medicine
conventional medicine
holistic approach
personalized care
side effects
regulation
evidence-based
self-care
empowerment
holistic health centers
complementary treatments
dissatisfaction
scientific evidence
appropriate treatment
cultural beliefs

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Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctors. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Many scientists are concerned about global warming. Research shows that the worldwide increase in temperature is getting worse. Furthermore, global warming seems to be related to levels of pollution in the atmosphere. Discuss the causes of global warming and possible solutions to the problem.

In the past, when students did a university degree, they tended to study in their own country. Nowadays, they have more opportunity to study abroad. What are the advantages and disadvantages of thi development?

Some people want governments to spend money looking for life on other planets. Others, however, think this is a waste of public money when there are so many problems on earth.Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

With the increased global demand in oil and gas, undiscovered area of the world should be opened up to access more resourced. To what extent do you agree?

Many people are optimistic of the 21st century and see it as an opportunity to make positive changes to the world.To what extent do you agree or disagree?what changes you like to see in this century?