Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctors. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?
In the past, patients used to consult doctors about their health issues.
However
, nowadays, their
is an Replace the word
there
incresed
shift to Correct your spelling
increased
increase
alternative
medicines over visiting physicians. While
I belive
that some Correct your spelling
believe
alternative
therapies and treatments have benefits, the risk
of this
growing trend overweigh
its Verb problem
outweighs
benefit
. In Fix the agreement mistake
benefits
this
essay, I will provide some of the positive impact
of Change to a plural noun
impacts
this
development and will support my arguments about the negative implication
of it.
Before all the current advances in Fix the agreement mistake
implications
health
Add an article
the health
system
and treatments, people used Fix the agreement mistake
systems
emprical
simple means of treatment Correct your spelling
empirical
such
as Chinese medicine. In the
recent decades, people Correct article usage
apply
growingly are
Verb problem
have
switching
back to Wrong verb form
switched
these kind
of remedies because it's Change the determiner
this kind
these kinds
natural
not synthetic chemicals as they are extracted from plants and herbs, Add the comma(s)
natural,
that
modern science has proved effective. Correct word choice
and
Moreover
, many evidences
about the Fix the agreement mistake
much evidence
effeicacy
of some Correct your spelling
efficacy
alternative
treatments such
as cupping and puncturing needle
, for alleviating muscle and joint pains, has been reported by many Fix the agreement mistake
needles
athlets
nowadays. Correct your spelling
athletes
Furthurmore
, using Correct your spelling
Furthermore
thes
medicines for mild Correct your spelling
these
disease
will decrease the burden on the health system and provide Fix the agreement mistake
diseases
opportunity
and resources to treat more complicated cases.
Despite the previously mentioned positive impacts, there is a Fix the agreement mistake
opportunities
risk
of lack of efficacy when it comes to treat
complicated cases. Change the verb form
treating
Patient
with chronic Fix the agreement mistake
Patients
sever
Correct your spelling
severe
disease
Fix the agreement mistake
diseases
such
as cancer and cardiovascular diseses
probably will need more accurate effective treatment rather Correct your spelling
diseases
disease
just
using herbal products. Correct word choice
than just
Additionaly
, large Correct your spelling
Additionally
consume
of herbal extracts might lead to overdose and pesticide toxicity which will put high Replace the word
consumption
risk
on patients instead
of curing them. Moreover
, lack
of enough clinical studies on these products wouldn't support them getting FDA approval for Correct article usage
the lack
these product
.
In conclusion, Change the determiner
this product
these products
alternative
remedies is
might be effective in Unnecessary verb
apply
unsevere
cases and conditions, Correct your spelling
severe
however
, their risk
on
patients with chronic Change preposition
to
diseses
should be considered.Correct your spelling
diseases
disease
Submitted by Lilly
on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
Work on correcting spelling and grammatical errors. This will improve the clarity of your argument.
task achievement
Ensure all arguments are fully developed and supported with relevant examples or evidence. This will help in demonstrating a more comprehensive response.
coherence and cohesion
Enhance logical flow and paragraph transitions to ensure that ideas connect more smoothly. This will make the essay easier to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Add more detailed examples to strengthen your arguments, particularly in the areas discussing the risks of alternative medicine.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps in framing your argument.
task achievement
The essay addresses both positive and negative aspects of the topic, which provides a balanced viewpoint.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite