Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctors. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

In the past, patients used to consult doctors about their health issues.
However
, nowadays,
their
Replace the word
there
show examples
is an
incresed
Correct your spelling
increased
increase
shift to
alternative
medicines over visiting physicians.
While
I
belive
Correct your spelling
believe
show examples
that some
alternative
therapies and treatments have benefits, the
risk
of
this
growing trend
overweigh
Verb problem
outweighs
show examples
its
benefit
Fix the agreement mistake
benefits
show examples
. In
this
essay, I will provide some of the positive
impact
Change to a plural noun
impacts
show examples
of
this
development and will support my arguments about the negative
implication
Fix the agreement mistake
implications
show examples
of it. Before all the current advances in
health
Add an article
the health
show examples
system
Fix the agreement mistake
systems
show examples
and treatments, people used
emprical
Correct your spelling
empirical
simple means of treatment
such
as Chinese medicine. In
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
recent decades, people
growingly are
Verb problem
have
show examples
switching
Wrong verb form
switched
show examples
back to
these kind
Change the determiner
this kind
these kinds
show examples
of remedies because it's
natural
Add the comma(s)
natural,
show examples
not synthetic chemicals as they are extracted from plants and herbs,
that
Correct word choice
and
show examples
modern science has proved effective.
Moreover
,
many evidences
Fix the agreement mistake
much evidence
show examples
about the
effeicacy
Correct your spelling
efficacy
of some
alternative
treatments
such
as cupping and puncturing
needle
Fix the agreement mistake
needles
show examples
, for alleviating muscle and joint pains, has been reported by many
athlets
Correct your spelling
athletes
nowadays.
Furthurmore
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
, using
thes
Correct your spelling
these
medicines for mild
disease
Fix the agreement mistake
diseases
show examples
will decrease the burden on the health system and provide
opportunity
Fix the agreement mistake
opportunities
show examples
and resources to treat more complicated cases. Despite the previously mentioned positive impacts, there is a
risk
of lack of efficacy when it comes to
treat
Change the verb form
treating
show examples
complicated cases.
Patient
Fix the agreement mistake
Patients
show examples
with chronic
sever
Correct your spelling
severe
show examples
disease
Fix the agreement mistake
diseases
show examples
such
as cancer and cardiovascular
diseses
Correct your spelling
diseases
disease
probably will need more accurate effective treatment rather
just
Correct word choice
than just
show examples
using herbal products.
Additionaly
Correct your spelling
Additionally
, large
consume
Replace the word
consumption
show examples
of herbal extracts might lead to overdose and pesticide toxicity which will put high
risk
on patients
instead
of curing them.
Moreover
,
lack
Correct article usage
the lack
show examples
of enough clinical studies on these products wouldn't support them getting FDA approval for
these product
Change the determiner
this product
these products
show examples
. In conclusion,
alternative
remedies
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
might be effective in
unsevere
Correct your spelling
severe
cases and conditions,
however
, their
risk
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
patients with chronic
diseses
Correct your spelling
diseases
disease
should be considered.
Submitted by Lilly on

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task achievement
Work on correcting spelling and grammatical errors. This will improve the clarity of your argument.
task achievement
Ensure all arguments are fully developed and supported with relevant examples or evidence. This will help in demonstrating a more comprehensive response.
coherence and cohesion
Enhance logical flow and paragraph transitions to ensure that ideas connect more smoothly. This will make the essay easier to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Add more detailed examples to strengthen your arguments, particularly in the areas discussing the risks of alternative medicine.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps in framing your argument.
task achievement
The essay addresses both positive and negative aspects of the topic, which provides a balanced viewpoint.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • alternative medicine
  • conventional medicine
  • holistic approach
  • personalized care
  • side effects
  • regulation
  • evidence-based
  • self-care
  • empowerment
  • holistic health centers
  • complementary treatments
  • dissatisfaction
  • scientific evidence
  • appropriate treatment
  • cultural beliefs
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