IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people think that new houses should be built in the same style as older houses in the local area. Others disagree and say that local authorities should allow people to build homes in the styles of their own choice. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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In our contemporary era, it is acknowledged that the new houses' architecture should copy the traditional style,
whereas
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 others would like to have flexibility in designing their properties. In my opinion, in the modern world, we need to be open-minded and avoid unnecessary restrictions. Nowadays, a noticeable number of individuals prefer to stay connected to their history and tradition, building up their houses with
old-fashion
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old-fashioned
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design
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designs
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 and teaching the younger generation ancient lifestyle.
For instance
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, in 2010, in the Russian city of Kazan, tatar national community influencers bought
a
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apply
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land to construct a village, called Bulgar,
according to
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 the 18th century people's taste.
This
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 activity was supported by the government authorities and fostered to
protect
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protection
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the
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of the
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 national heritage,
as well as
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 triggered the new citizens to buy those houses and relocate to
this
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 village.
Furthermore
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, the village became the most popular tourist destination, hosting 100
visitor
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visitors
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 per day in peak seasons.
On the other hand
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, it is
also
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benefitial
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beneficial
 to have
flexible
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the flexible
a flexible
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 mindset for cities, allowing diversity in constructional art and design perspectives in the community.
For example
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, in Moscow, the most well-known
appartments
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apartments
 were designed
with
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by
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 big tech companies like Yandex and Go, with their fashionable approaches, implementing technology and smart house tools. It was a
life changing
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life-changing
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 decision of the government as more and more
entrepreneours
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entrepreneurs
 followed up the new wave of modern buildings.
Therefore
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, authorities designated more available areas for
the
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apply
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future
constructions
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construction
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 in the city plan to avoid
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the deminishing
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deminishing
Correct your spelling
diminishing
 of culturally important regions. In conclusion, forcing potential customers
with limiting
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to limit
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 choices and restricting with only specific
arnament
Correct your spelling
ornament
argument
armament
 could be financially inefficient, leading to instability in
the
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apply
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society. In my opinion, in the 21st century, we need to be more democratic, giving everyone
freedom
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the freedom
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 to select their residents'
design
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designs
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 and areas by following the general plan of the living place.

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introduction
Consider providing a more nuanced introduction that briefly outlines both perspectives before stating your opinion, to make it clear from the outset which position you will support.
supporting details
While the points are generally well-supported, a few more specific details or examples could enhance the argument, particularly in the second paragraph talking about flexibility in house design.
transitions
Ensure that each paragraph flows smoothly to the next with appropriate transition sentences. Although the structure is generally good, some transitions could be made smoother.
organization
The essay demonstrates a clear and logical structure, which makes it easy to follow the writer's argument.
examples
Relevant and specific examples are provided to support the main points, helping to illustrate the arguments effectively.
conclusion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the discussion and reiterates the writer’s opinion, reinforcing the overall argument.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • architectural heritage
  • historical identity
  • community continuity
  • local environment
  • sustainability
  • innovative designs
  • energy efficiency
  • smart home technology
  • individual expression
  • vibrant community
  • advanced building technologies
  • aesthetic cohesion
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