Some people think that all children should learn about history at school. Others however, believe that other subjects are more relevant to children’s lives today. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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In
contemporary
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the contemporary
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era, some individuals believe that all
students
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should learn about
history
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at
school
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.
On the other hand
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, others think that other subjects are more relevant to children’s
lives
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today
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.
This
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essay will discuss both views and I will draw my personal conclusion. On the one hand, some people
argued
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argue
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that all children should learn about
history
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at
school
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for two main reasons. The first
reason
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is the
important
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importance
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of knowing
history
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at
school
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. It is because of the importance of it in their life.
According to
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the
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a
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new survey in the United
kingdom
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Kingdom
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that
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apply
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"
History
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subject
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is the main
subject
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that most
of
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apply
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families prefer
it
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apply
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for their
students
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to
importace
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importance
of gain all knowledge of their
countury
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country
country's
history
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". What is more,
respect
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respecting
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their rule of
the
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apply
show examples
history
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is a second
reason
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.
For instance
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, if the
students
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do not learn about
the
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apply
show examples
history
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, they will not follow the
rule
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rules
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and
do
Verb problem
will
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not respect others.
Thus
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,
history
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subject
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is a main
subject
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for
students
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to study at
school
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from grade one until graduate from
school
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.
On the other hand
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, other individuals disagree
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this
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with this
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statement. They think that there are several
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reason
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reasons
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for
students
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to learn other subjects which are more relevant to children’s
lives
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today
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.
firstly
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, the recent development in
sociey
Correct your spelling
society
is a significant
reason
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.
Thus
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,
students
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should learn what
are
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is
show examples
happing
Verb problem
happening
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in their
lives
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because other jobs will be
invention
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inventive
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after they
will graduation
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graduate
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.
this
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will help them to be in
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a jobs
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jobs
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job
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environment with more skills.
Moreover
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, the second
reason
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is the new issues that are appearing in
this
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era
contemorary
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contemporary
. they must be in updating any
any
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apply
show examples
social phenomena.
Thus
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, others prefer to study other subjects that are relevant to their
lives
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today
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. In conclusion, there is no doubt that every individual
have
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has
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a different opinion
according to
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their own
reason
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. In my opinion , I argued that
students
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should
be update
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be updated
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to
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on
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what
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apply
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their
live's
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lives's
show examples
today
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and at the same time they should learn the
impotrantce
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importance
of their
history
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.
Submitted by almeem on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and that every point is fully developed and supported with specific examples or details. Avoid repetition and ensure each sentence logically follows the previous one.
task achievement
Try to use more varied vocabulary and complex sentence structures to avoid repetition and to convey ideas more clearly. Be sure to proofread your essay for grammatical errors and awkward phrasing.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction adequately sets the stage by presenting the topic and outlining the main points to be discussed.
supported main points
The writer makes a commendable effort to present both sides of the argument—those who support teaching history and those who prioritize other subjects.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • cultural heritage
  • identity
  • critical thinking
  • analytical skills
  • relevant
  • modern career opportunities
  • financial literacy
  • computer skills
  • well-rounded education
  • practical subjects
  • valuable lessons
  • past mistakes and successes
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