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Band 5.5

Online education is becoming more and more popular. Some people claim that e-learning has so many benefits that it will replace face-to-face education soon. Others say that traditional education is irreplaceable. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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As online learning becomes widespread, it leads some
people
Use synonyms
 to believe that it may replace physical learning in the near future.
Nevertheless
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, I strongly believe that both educational systems have
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
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 own advantages that are applicable to different circumstances, resulting
them
Change preposition
in them
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to be
Change the verb form
being
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 irreplaceable to another. Online learning has been claimed to be beneficial for
people
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 in terms of
its
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
convenience and cost reduction. To specify, it provides a significant educational alternative for those who are residing in a remote location, or facing financial or other challenges to commute to the institution.
For instance
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, during the pandemic, using online educational
form
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forms
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 allows
people
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 who got
covid-19
Correct your spelling
COVID-19
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 to continue studying regardless of physical presence.
Moreover
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,
students
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 are not required to afford the transportation cost,
while
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 teachers may reduce their location rental fee.
Therefore
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, it provides educational accessibility to
students
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 equally.
On the contrary
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, physical studying is vital to promote social interaction and maintain the concentration level
on
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of
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 studying.
In other words
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, face-to-face
education
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 is critical to enhance
students
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' social skills and provide a sense of community.
During the
Change preposition
The
show examples
 physical classes,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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allows
Correct subject-verb agreement
allow
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 the
students
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 to convey their own
opinion
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opinions
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with
Change preposition
to
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 other classmates, improve cognitive function, and work as a team, boosting problem-solving,
critical-thinking
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critical thinking
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, and public speaking skills.
Morever
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Moreover
, the energetic atmosphere in physical classes stimulates
students
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 to stay concentrated and motivated, which may better
academic
Correct article usage
the academic
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 performances of
students
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. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 some
people
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 may consider online
education
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 as an effective means to study and may replace traditional means of
educational
Add an article
the educational
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 system, I strongly believe that each type of
education
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 promotes different benefits, which could not
be
Verb problem
apply
show examples
completely
replaced
Wrong verb form
replace
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 one another.
While
Linking Words
online
Correct article usage
the online
show examples
education
Use synonyms
 system provides an accessible means of studying, physical learning is equally important to improve societal skills required for
students
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.

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coherence
To improve your essay's coherence, consider using more varied transition phrases to enhance the flow between paragraphs. Additionally, address any repetitions and ensure your points are clearly differentiated.
task achievement
Make sure all your ideas are fully expanded. For instance, providing more specific examples or detailed explanations will strengthen your arguments. Also, some points can be slightly more focused and less generalized.
coherence
Your essay is well-structured and effectively uses an introduction and conclusion to frame your arguments.
task achievement
You have adequately covered both views of the argument, providing a balanced discussion.
task achievement
You've effectively used examples and explanations to support your points, helping to make your arguments clearer.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • e-Learning
  • face-to-face education
  • remote learning
  • virtual classroom
  • webinar
  • digital platform
  • self-paced learning
  • interactive learning
  • course accessibility
  • academic networking
  • pedagogy
  • synchronous/asynchronous sessions
  • MOOCs (Massive Open Online Courses)
  • edtech (educational technology)
  • holistic development
  • practical skills
  • collaborative learning
  • digital divide
  • curriculum adaptation
  • technological literacy
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