WRITING TASK 2: Some people think that parent should teach children how to be good member of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion?
Some
inviduals
assume that kids will Correct your spelling
individuals
be became
Change the verb form
become
a
nice Correct article usage
apply
person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
by
Change preposition
of
Correct pronoun usage
their parent
parent
’ teaching. Fix the agreement mistake
parents
While
,
others consider studying at Remove the comma
apply
school
is the best way to learn this
. In this
essay, I will discuss both view
and give my personal viewpoint from my own knowledge and experience
On the one hand, there are two reasons why some Change to a plural noun
views
members
believe that parent
should educate their children
become
Fix the infinitive
to become
a
good Correct article usage
apply
member
of Fix the agreement mistake
members
society
. First of all, children
may learn easily through their fathers and mothers because kids always imitate their parent’
activities and character. Because of spending numerous time at home, it is not difficult for Fix the agreement mistake
parents’
parent
can Add an article
a parent
the parent
insprire
their kids with nice Correct your spelling
inspire
charater
. Correct your spelling
characters
Therefore
, if their father and mother are the
good Correct article usage
apply
members
of society
, their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
each
kid will be Change the determiner
every
good
person Add an article
a good
of
Change preposition
in
society
. Secondly
, the relationship between parent
and Fix the agreement mistake
parents
children
is extremely close, so parent
may teach their Add an article
the parent
a parent
children
easier. That is
the main reason I think that teaching throught
Correct your spelling
through
parent
is a way of improving behaviour and mentality. Fix the agreement mistake
parents
For example
, in Vietnam, only parent
teach Fix the agreement mistake
parents
children
how to BECOME ACTIVE AND ABLE MEMBERS
OF THE SOCIETY
hence
children
always obey their parents and parent
spend a lot of time Fix the agreement mistake
parents
to teach
Change the verb form
teaching
children
dedicately and effectively.
On the other hand, some people assume school
os
the place to learn Correct your spelling
is
this
according twon
main reasons. Correct your spelling
to
Firstly
, school
have some Fix the agreement mistake
schools
rule
so Fix the agreement mistake
rules
children
can learn how to respect and obey the rules of their community which are the
crucial skills if they want to be Correct article usage
apply
a
good Correct article usage
apply
member
Fix the agreement mistake
members
in
Change preposition
of
society
. For example
, in western
Capitalize word
Western
australia
Correct your spelling
Australian
school
systems, student
often Fix the agreement mistake
students
educate
about Wrong verb form
educated
school
rules which are set up similarly
with
social laws. Change preposition
to
In addition
, when children
go to school
, they will enter a wider community which have
many people from a whole variety of Correct subject-verb agreement
has
backrounds
from Correct your spelling
backgrounds
society
, so they can have some experience, knowledge, relationships and skill
to enter Fix the agreement mistake
skills
to
the wider Change preposition
apply
society
. Student can co-operate with each other and contribute to the life of their community. As the
consequence, Correct article usage
a
children
may BECOME ACTIVE AND ABLE MEMBERS
OF THE SOCIETY
In conclusion, becoming a good member of society
is very essential,therefore
, children
need
have Add the particle
need to
accompainment
and Correct your spelling
accompaniment
combination
Correct article usage
a combination
between
Change preposition
of
parent
and Fix the agreement mistake
parents
school
. In my opinion, I believe parents and school
need to Fix the agreement mistake
schools
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
balanced
Replace the word
balance
children
to become the best version compared to the past.Submitted by nguyenhoanganhquan918 on
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grammar
Ensure grammatical accuracy; numerous grammatical mistakes can affect readability and clarity. Sometimes, phrases like 'parent’ teaching' should be 'parents' teaching' or 'parents teaching'.
evidence
Expand on your points with specific examples to make your arguments even more persuasive. For example, instead of simply mentioning 'school rules similar to social laws,' provide specific examples or cases where this has been effective.
transitions
Work on transitioning smoothly between ideas and paragraphs to enhance cohesion. Words such as 'On the other hand' can sometimes be replaced with more seamless transitions.
vocabulary
Avoid redundancy; phrases like 'good member of society' are repeated. Try to diversify vocabulary to express the same idea without repetition.
task response
The essay addresses all parts of the question and provides a balanced discussion of both views.
structure
Clear introduction and conclusion are provided, tying the essay together well.
evidence
The main points are supported with reasonable arguments and the essay attempts to use examples, which is appreciated.
Word Count
IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.
A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.
Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.
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