IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that parent should teach children how to be good member of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion?

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Some
inviduals
Correct your spelling
individuals
 assume that kids will
be became
Change the verb form
become
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
nice
person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
by
Change preposition
of
show examples
Use synonyms
Correct pronoun usage
their parent
show examples
parent
Fix the agreement mistake
parents
show examples
’ teaching.
While
Linking Words
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 others consider studying at
school
Use synonyms
 is the best way to learn
this
Linking Words
. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will discuss both
view
Change to a plural noun
views
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 and give my personal viewpoint from my own knowledge and experience On the one hand, there are two reasons why some
members
Use synonyms
 believe that
parent
Use synonyms
 should educate their
children
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become
Fix the infinitive
to become
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
good
member
Fix the agreement mistake
members
show examples
 of
society
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. First of all,
children
Use synonyms
 may learn easily through their fathers and mothers because kids always imitate their
Use synonyms
parent’
Fix the agreement mistake
parents’
show examples
 activities and character. Because of spending numerous time at home, it is not difficult for
Use synonyms
parent
Add an article
a parent
the parent
show examples
 can
insprire
Correct your spelling
inspire
 their kids with nice
charater
Correct your spelling
characters
.
Therefore
Linking Words
, if their father and mother are
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
good
members
Use synonyms
 of
society
Use synonyms
,
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
each
Change the determiner
every
show examples
 kid will be
good
Add an article
a good
show examples
 person
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
society
Use synonyms
.
Secondly
Linking Words
, the relationship between
Use synonyms
parent
Fix the agreement mistake
parents
show examples
 and
children
Use synonyms
 is extremely close, so
Use synonyms
parent
Add an article
the parent
a parent
show examples
 may teach their
children
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 easier.
That is
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 the main reason I think that teaching
throught
Correct your spelling
through
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parent
Fix the agreement mistake
parents
show examples
 is a way of improving behaviour and mentality.
For example
Linking Words
, in Vietnam, only
Use synonyms
parent
Fix the agreement mistake
parents
show examples
 teach
children
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 how to BECOME ACTIVE AND ABLE
MEMBERS
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 OF THE
SOCIETY
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hence
Linking Words
children
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 always obey their parents and
Use synonyms
parent
Fix the agreement mistake
parents
show examples
 spend a lot of time
to teach
Change the verb form
teaching
show examples
children
Use synonyms
 dedicately and effectively. On the other hand, some people assume
school
Use synonyms
os
Correct your spelling
is
show examples
 the place to learn
this
Linking Words
 according
twon
Correct your spelling
to
 main reasons.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
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school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
 have some
rule
Fix the agreement mistake
rules
show examples
 so
children
Use synonyms
 can learn how to respect and obey the rules of their community which are
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
crucial skills if they want to be
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
good
member
Fix the agreement mistake
members
show examples
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
society
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, in
western
Capitalize word
Western
show examples
australia
Correct your spelling
Australian
school
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 systems,
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 often
educate
Wrong verb form
educated
show examples
 about
school
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 rules which are set up
similarly
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with
Change preposition
to
show examples
 social laws.
In addition
Linking Words
, when
children
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 go to
school
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, they will enter a wider community which
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 many people from a whole variety of
backrounds
Correct your spelling
backgrounds
 from
society
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, so they can have some experience, knowledge, relationships and
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
show examples
 to enter
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the wider
society
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. Student can co-operate with each other and contribute to the life of their community. As
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 consequence,
children
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 may BECOME ACTIVE AND ABLE
MEMBERS
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 OF THE
SOCIETY
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 In conclusion, becoming a good member of
society
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 is very essential,
therefore
Linking Words
,
children
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need
Add the particle
need to
show examples
 have
accompainment
Correct your spelling
accompaniment
 and
combination
Correct article usage
a combination
show examples
between
Change preposition
of
show examples
Use synonyms
parent
Fix the agreement mistake
parents
show examples
 and
school
Use synonyms
. In my opinion, I believe parents and
Use synonyms
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
 need to
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
balanced
Replace the word
balance
show examples
children
Use synonyms
 to become the best version compared to the past.

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grammar
Ensure grammatical accuracy; numerous grammatical mistakes can affect readability and clarity. Sometimes, phrases like 'parent’ teaching' should be 'parents' teaching' or 'parents teaching'.
evidence
Expand on your points with specific examples to make your arguments even more persuasive. For example, instead of simply mentioning 'school rules similar to social laws,' provide specific examples or cases where this has been effective.
transitions
Work on transitioning smoothly between ideas and paragraphs to enhance cohesion. Words such as 'On the other hand' can sometimes be replaced with more seamless transitions.
vocabulary
Avoid redundancy; phrases like 'good member of society' are repeated. Try to diversify vocabulary to express the same idea without repetition.
task response
The essay addresses all parts of the question and provides a balanced discussion of both views.
structure
Clear introduction and conclusion are provided, tying the essay together well.
evidence
The main points are supported with reasonable arguments and the essay attempts to use examples, which is appreciated.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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