IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3.5

Task 1: The plans below show the ground floor of a library in 2001 and how it was redeveloped in 2009.

#plans #show #ground #floor #library #redeveloped
The given maps illustrate how the ground floor of the library changed after some development and changes during the period from 2001 to 2009.
Overall
, the library’s ground floor was heavily modified, with the addition of a diverse collection of books and the inclusion of modern amenities. There were two computers in the plan in 2009,
nonetheless
 before eight years they were non-existence. On the west bookcases in the year 2001, there were two kinds of books
such
 as
self help
Add a hyphen
self-help
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 and history.
However
, those bookcases were divided into six sections which added four new book sections including laws, economics,
fictions
Fix the agreement mistake
fiction
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 and kitchen in the year 2009. During the period from 2001 to 2009, the librarian’s desk and stairs remained unchanged. Looking at the wall opposite
to
Change preposition
apply
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the entrance, the fiction bookcase was located in the year 2001,
however
, after eight years, that area had an extension and a conversion to the
children
Change noun form
children's
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 area and children’s books. At the centre of the ground floor of the library, eight original tables were extended to four longer ones. The old bookcases on the right hand
was
Change the verb form
were
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 used for newspapers and periodicals in 2001,
nevertheless
Add a comma
nevertheless,
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 in
2009
Add a comma
2009,
show examples
 that bookcase
used
Add a missing verb
was used
show examples
 for Films and DVDs.
Submitted by nguyenhoanganhquan918 on

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coherence cohesion
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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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