IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

There has been a huge impact of globalization on cultural diversity. Explore how the interconnectedness of the world through globalization affects the preservation of unique cultural identities.

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It is widely acknowledged that globalization has a significant impact on cultural diversity. From my perspective, it provides both
advantage
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advantages
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 and
disadvantage
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disadvantages
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 to the
diversed
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diverse
cultures
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.
While
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 some people argue that it results in the loss of unique cultural identities, it plays
as
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apply
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a key role in facilitating cross-cultural exchange. It has been widely claimed that globalization leads to cultural homogenization. In
order
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other
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 words, the global interaction allows certain
cutures
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cultures
, customs, ideas, and unique physical objects representing cultural differences to become dominant across the globe.
Moreover
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, the dissemination of media
contents
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content
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 and consumer products from dominant
cultures
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, particularly
the
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apply
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western brands and lifestyles, can overshadow local traditions, products, languages, and practices.
For instance
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, the utilisation of English as an international language reduces the speaking of local languages, resulting in viewing traditional languages as insignificant.
Therefore
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, it lessens the cultural preservation in society.
On the contrary
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, it is considered to be a paramount instrument to promote cross-cultural exchange. To specify,
through
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apply
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social media platforms,
it
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apply
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allows
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allow
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 people to enrich local
cultures
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 with news ideas, applications, and advanced technologies, preserving and enhancing cultural heritages
in
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at
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 the international level.
For instance
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, some citizens may create
a
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apply
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tiktok
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TikTok
 content that encourages
a
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apply
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greater consumption of traditional cuisines or visiting domestic
taveling
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travelling
 spots, reviving customary practices and boosting
tourism
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the tourism
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 industry.
Thus
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, it attracts
the
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apply
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global attention to traditional
cultures
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, preserving
its
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the
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 authenticity and uniqueness of the
cutures
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cultures
. In conclusion, in my opinion, globalization provides both benefits and drawbacks to
cutural
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cultural
 diversity.
While
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 it may
causes
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cause
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 some considerable loss of
culteral
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cultural
 identities, it can positively encourage the preservation of
cutures
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cultures
culture
 and raise
the
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apply
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cultural awareness.

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task achievement
Consider providing more specific examples to support your points. For instance, mentioning particular cultural traditions or languages that have been impacted by globalization would strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Work on organizing your ideas more logically within paragraphs. Ensure that each paragraph contains a single, clear main point supported by evidence and examples. This will help improve the overall coherence of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Try to use more varied vocabulary to articulate your points. Using synonyms and different expressions can make your writing more engaging and show a stronger command of the language.
introduction conclusion present
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which frame your discussion nicely.
task achievement
You have addressed both positive and negative impacts of globalization on cultural diversity, showing a balanced perspective.
relevant specific examples
The examples provided, such as the influence of English and social media, are relevant and help to illustrate your points.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cultural homogenization
  • Cross-cultural exchange
  • Dominant cultures
  • Cultural erosion
  • Cultural preservation
  • Global interconnectedness
  • Cultural diversity
  • Traditional practices
  • Cultural identity
  • Global brands
  • Consumer products
  • Tourism industry
  • UNESCO World Heritage Sites
  • Authenticity
  • Cross-cultural influence
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