IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The line graph below shows the number of serious crimes that occurred in London between 2003 and 2012. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The line graph below shows the number of serious crimes that occurred in London between 2003 and 2012. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The line graph illustrates the
number
Use synonyms
 of Amed
Robbery
Use synonyms
 , Assault , and
Murder
Use synonyms
 that
happend
Correct your spelling
happened
happen
 in London between the years 2003
until
Correct word choice
and
show examples
 2012 .
Overall
Linking Words
,
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the
beggining
Correct your spelling
beginning
 of the
period
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 , Amed
Robbery
Use synonyms
 had the highest
number
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 of crimes . As
Correct your spelling
opposed
oppossed
Correct your spelling
opposed
 to Mudrer which had the lowest amount .
however
Linking Words
 , Assaults had outraced the
number
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 of Amed
Robbery
Use synonyms
in
Change the preposition
at
show examples
 the end of the
period
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 ,
while
Linking Words
murder
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has
Unnecessary verb
apply
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had a steady range. In 2003 , both
robbery
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 and
murder
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 had an upward trend for
short
Add an article
a short
show examples
period
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 of time .
whereas
Linking Words
 , around the year 2004 they had a
down fall
Correct your spelling
downfall
show examples
.
robbery
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 and
murder
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 had reached their lowest point in 2008, at 1000 and 500 respectively . In terms of the
number
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 of
Correct your spelling
assault
assult
Add a comma
assult,
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 it started at the beginning of the
period
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approximatley
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approximately
 around 2300 ,
then
Linking Words
 it fluctuated over the 5 years until 2008 ,
were
Correct your spelling
where
show examples
 it experienced a stable upward trend .

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words number, robbery, murder, period with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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